????

To begin with I am quite lost about what to write. I mean it has been months since I have written a single word. Lately, I find it hard to find some inspiration, some motivation to write. And quite frankly, I don't know why.........
Going each day without penning my thoughts seems a struggle but when I sit down to write I am left with a "?" Some days it is the world's problems that ignite my mind to write something powerful but then I think what is the use, not a thing is going to change......On other days it is the books and movies which make me eager to write down a word or two. But then again I feel much has been said about it..who would want to read my opinion, my ideas......
Sometimes, I wonder maybe lack of response, lack of recognition makes me like this. But I still remember, I had begun writing for myself when my mind had felt too little a space to hold my thoughts so I had to pour them out. But for a budding writer, a bit of response is needed to know where I stand.
For that, I started searching platforms for writing but found nothing inspiring and interesting to hold on to. To be frank, blogs seemed too much work with my trashy and slow internet. And then again my fickle mind doesn't stay for long on an idea, so I was confused about what actually I should dedicate my blog to. Silly, I know but that's just me.
Then Tumblr felt like a good hope to post stuff....but somehow it never really happened. One day I thought to start a story....maybe even a novel and I ended up reading one instead of writing. Basically, my only conclusion is that I am Lazy. I got no other reason and nothing is wrong with like I am not even depressed with my life to stop writing. I guess L A Z Y is the word.
So, that's how pathetic I have become over the months. It's not that I was a great writer or something close to it. You can see my profile, but don't expect much. I read stuff on Writerbabu and other platforms, it all feels so good and intriguing. I wish to write the same, but it never really turns out to be that way.
I bet nobody would give this pity post another glance but I'll still be waiting for that red light near the notification box like Gatsby did for the green light. For those who read this far, thanks for bearing with my random mumbo-jumbo thoughts post which didn't make any sense altogether.