Arak Vatsa's Diary

Arak Vatsa's Diary

Open diary

Love the life you live, Live the life you love.I enjoys everything life has to give me and try to get from life what i enjoy.

24 years old, Male, India

Diary Entries (35)

Sep 08th, 2015 10:26 PM

I want to be single but with you.

I want you to go with your friends, for you to be hungover the next morning and ask me to join you anyway because you feel like having me in your arms, for us to nuzzle against one another. I want to talk in bed in the morning about all sorts of things, but sometimes, in the afternoon, I want us to decide to take different paths for the day.

I want you to tell me about your evenings with your friends. To tell me that there was a boy at the bar who gave​​ you the eye. I want you to send me text messages when you're drunk with your friends, for you to tell me unimportant things, just so you can be assured that I think of you, too.

I want us to laugh while we're making love. For us to we start laughing because we're trying new things and it just doesn't make sense. I want us to be with our friends, for you to take me by the hand and take me to another room because you cannot take it anymore and you feel like right there you have to make love to me. I want to try to stay silent because there are ears that could hear us.

I want to eat with you, want you to make me talk about me and for you to talk about you. I want us to rant about the North Shore vs. South Shore, West suburb versus East. I want to imagine the loft of our dreams, knowing that we will probably never move in together. For you tell me about your plans with neither head nor tail. I want to be surprised, for you to make me say: Take your passport; we're leaving.

I want to be afraid with you. To do things I would not do with anyone else, because with you I am confident! To return after a good evening with friends. For you to take my face, kiss me, use me like your pillow and squeeze me so tightly at night.

I want you to have your life, for you decide on a whim to travel for a few weeks. For you to leave me here alone bored and wishing for the small Facebook pop-up with your face that tells me "hi."

I don't always want to be invited for your evenings out and I don't always want to invite you to mine. Then I can tell you about it and hear you tell me about yours the next day.

I want something that will be both simple and at the same time not so simple. Something that will make sure that I often ask myself questions, but the minute I'm in the same room as you, I know. I want you to think I'm handsome, for you to be proud to say that we're together. I want to hear you say you love me and I especially want to tell you in return. I want you to let me walk ahead of you so you can watch my bottom swing from left to right. For you to let me scrape the windows of my car in winter because my butt wiggles and it makes you smile.

I want to make plans not knowing whether or not they will be realized. To be in a relationship that is anything but clear. I want to be your good friend, the one with whom you love hanging out. I want you to keep your desire to flirt with other boys, but for you to come back to me to finish your evening. Because I will want to go home with you. I want to be the one with whom you love to make love and fall asleep. The one who stays away when you work and loves it when you get lost in your world . I want to live a single life with you. For our couple life, would be the equivalent of our single lives today, but together.

One day I will find you.

Sep 06th, 2015 02:10 AM

I heard that you're settled down.
That you found a boy and you're married now ,I heard that your dreams came true guess he gave you things I didn't give to you Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light I hate to turn up out of the blue,
uninvited but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it .
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded.
That for me, it isn't over Never mind, I'll find someone like you .
I wish nothing but the best for you, Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said.
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead .
You know how the time flies only yesterday was the time of our lives.
We were born and raised in a summer haze bound by the surprise of our glory days .
I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded .
That for me, it isn't over yet .Never mind, I'll find someone like you.
Nothing compares, no worries or cares Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nov 1st, 2013 1:20 PM

I did an internship in Germany. I spent 7 weeks there. Well, as most people would have guessed, it was FUN! And the traveler in me just left each weekend to visit nearby places. I was lucky enough to go places that most people dream about… And I loved it all!! Paris, Munich, Vienna, Hamburg, Amsterdam… These are all places that I would never forget. And not because of their name, it’s because every place I went, their people, their architecture, their life… Everything had something to say, everything had something to teach. Here are some of the things that I personally found ‘interesting’, so to speak…

1. Germany

I stayed in Germany the longest, so it makes sense that I start with this country. Hmmm, Germans… Well, First of all, let me tell you, Germans are not at all like how we picture them. No, sir! Not a bit… They are in fact, very nice people. Quite helpful and warm people. The best I like about them is their resilience and their pride. When most of us fall, it takes a lot to come to terms with ourselves again.

But the Germans… They not only came to terms with their past, they bounced back. And boy, did they bounce back… Germany was literally completely destroyed in the World War II. They are the metaphorical Phoenix of this world. It is hard not to respect them. With whatever little they had, they built; they ‘rose from the ashes’. And they don’t run from their past, they embrace it gracefully. The insanities of Hitler are taught to them right from their primary education. That itself is an indicative of their courage and will to change the way people think of Germany, just because of the actions of a person, who, interestingly, wasn’t even a German.

In my opinion, the most important reason why they have been able to achieve what they have achieved is the attitude with which they do things. They never do things half-heartedly. They always put their best foot forward. If I like doing something, I’ll do the best I can. And if I don’t, well, what can we do, life isn’t a bed of roses, and I’ll still do the best I can.’ If we can inculcate this habit in our lives, I tell you, there are no limits to what we can achieve, personally as well as a race.

Another great thing about them is that they always strike a balance in their work and personal life. They won’t work on weekends, come what may. For them the quality of life matters more, it doesn’t really matter to them what car their neighbor drives, or how much does their colleague earns. ‘I am happy with what I have.’ Now, I don’t mean that they are any self-less saints who like charity or anything. All I am saying is that they have a sense of material satisfaction that I generally don’t see in us, Indians. Germans are certainly a race to admire and respect!

2. Italy -

Italians are hearty people. That’s the one word I can use to describe them. They like to have a good laugh. They like to have a good laugh while they work; they like to have a good laugh while to play, they like to have a good laugh when they eat. They believe in enjoying life to the fullest. They love to cook, they love to eat. And at the end of the day, after whatever successes, after whatever achievements, you do not know how to enjoy those successes; you haven’t really succeeded, have you?

Their architecture, the grandeur of their building, all speaks of a mighty and enlightened by-gone era. Rome, Venice, Florence and the Vatican simply leave you amazed. The Vatican also shows you to value your traditions, your art, to have a faith, to believe in a higher spirit.

3. France-

Ah, France… France told me the importance of romance in life… The need to not be a ‘lone ranger’, as they say… It is necessary to open up to people, whether it’s your friends or your lover (ah, who am I kidding, IITians have lover… HA!). Taking a walk along the Seine River next to Notre-Dame, visiting the Louvre (seeing what is so great about Mona Lisa, BTW), and going to the very top of the Eiffel Tower… Oh! The art, the romance. I loved everything about Paris!

4. Denmark-

I learned a very important lesson in Denmark, the most important one of all, in my opinion. The importance of being humble, not being too proud of one’s strengths… Let me give you a little background, for most of my short life, I have not looked up to people… I am talking literally here, I have been the biggest man in any sample group; the probability of me being the biggest was not approaching 1, it seems till now, it HAD BEEN 1, a true event always.

And now picture this; I am in an amusement park in Copenhagen… I got tired and was sitting on a bench… And suddenly it starts to rain… A family comes and sits with me on the bench; we exchange a little formality, just to get the atmosphere a little light. And by the time, it stops to rain. I start to get up to leave, they also get up. Now the family was of 4 people, a husband and wife and their two sons, round about my age. I look around, and for the first time in my life I felt impotent, powerless, almost weak… I was the shortest among the 5!! They must have thought of me as a mad man from India by the look on my face! You see, Denmark has the highest average height in the entire world… That day I learned not to be too proud… There are always better and ‘bigger’ people out there.

5. The Netherlands, or rather… AMSTERDAM!!

At the end of the day, a man needs some fun, if you know what I mean I am writing this in the last, because quite frankly, to describe Holland IS actually quite difficult. The differences in culture… this is place where you get to observe it the most; the largely conservative society of India compared to the ultra liberal society of Amsterdam. Prostitution is legal, Ganja is legal. The comparison makes you think about the very questions of what is right and wrong. It gives you a sense of your own identity, your culture. In a way it makes you aware of your own self. But all said and done, Amsterdam is where one goes to unwind; or should i call it ‘wind’… huh?? Nah, whatever happened in Amsterdam, let’s keep it there, shall we?

Aug 2nd, 2013 11:38 AM

With the passing time it seems my grip over my life is loosening. Everything is moving away ,leaving me behind, all alone, reminding me that life is a game and I need to learn the rules fast.. Real fast!

The game says you can't hold on to things permanently and will have to leave them behind when time comes.

But it is not that easy.. even if you are aware of the fact since the very beginning and train your mind to function accordingly. . your heart won't listen. It just WON'T!

It will make will feel for the people and the things around will expect a proper will always be desirous that the good times remain intact and not just etched in our will laugh when will cry when sad and definitely when you move away from your loved ones it will be will accept it gradually will then be hopeful and try to be content and then it will look forward to the new life, the new beginning and ready itself to face more such emotional setbacks in the future and accept LIFE the way it is.

And through these dilemmas it will make you 'LIVE' your 'LIFE'.

After all these emotions makes us Human and the control of emotions makes Life a game. All these pangs of separation and togetherness keeps us from loosing interest in the game, compelling us to play each time we are defeated, forcing us to fight back and come out Victorious.In the process teaching us lessons for life strengthening our sense of independence and individuality.

Jul 21th, 2013 11:20 AM

I want to hide myself
from rest of the world
and find myself a place
that’s just a quiet place
where nothing worries me
disasters are escaped
no fears anywhere
no matter at stake
where life runs smoothly
and heart is at peace
and wandering here n there
is not a problem to treat
the pace of life is at ease.

Jul 12th, 2013 8:13 PM

Sometimes saying sorry
Is the most difficult thing on the earth.
But it is the cheapest thing
To save the most expensive gift called Relationship.........

Jul 11th, 2013 6:16 PM

If a boy cries for a girl, that doesn't mean He is
If a boy can't move on to another girl, that doesn't
mean He is stubborn....
If a boy gets depressed for 'one girl', that doesn't
mean He is a loser....
If a boy always dreams about only one girl', that
doesn't mean He's just got addicted to her....
If a boy is obsessed for one girl, that doesn't mean
He can't be with any other girl....
If a boy is crazy for one girl, that doesn't mean He
has lost his mind....
But All that means is, He loves that Girl so much
that he can't love any other girl in the same

Jul 06th, 2013 1:11 PM

Relationships is like an onion which has many layers of trust and care, if you will try to cut that, you will find nothing except tear in your eyes

Jul 04th, 2013 2:06 PM

Late night chats, tucked in with you
Nothing to plan, nothing to worry,
Endless words, incessant chatter
Relentless gossips and inaudible laughter
You spoke I gasped, I spoke you grinned
You cried I wept, I sobbed you cried
Hands held together, nothing left unsaid
Hearts conjoined, tucked in the bed

The hidden signals, the veiled curses,
Your nose twist, my invisible wink, our rolling of eyes
Neighborhood Romeos, my whistles, our sprints and our lies
Getting caught, getting punished, their shouts and sighs
Our promise to never do it again
And then doing it again

Never ending fun, never ending lessons
Memories of adolescence
Countless days
Countless nights
Countless moments with you.................

Jun 11th, 2013 10:41 PM

Here i Am siting in my Room at night
Thinking hard about life...
How it change from a careless university life
to strict in laws life.. ?
How tiny pocket money changed to
Miyan's huge pocket full of salary..
But then why it gives less happiness ?
How a single plate of samosa changed
to a remaing food of kids.
but then why there is less hunger ?
How a limited prepaid card changed
to postpaid package;
but then why there are less calls and sms?
How old computer changed in to laptop
but then why there is less time to put it on ?
How a small bunch of friends changed to
mother-in-law, Brother-in-law, sister-in-law
but then why we r always feel loneliness ?
When I Was College Going Student , I Never
Care About My Maa Papa N Now M Missing
Them Like Hell..
"When You Will Get Married , Everything Will
Gonna Change.. So Enjoy Each n Every
Moment Of Your Life"
No Doubt Your Married Life Will Be Best But
This One Is "AWESOME

Mar 24th, 2013 09:50 AM

Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
Change is the law of life. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
but those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.

Mar 15th, 2013 04:56 AM

Time doesn't wait for u or me,
Days pass and years change,
U miss ur loved ones,
U move away from ur close ones,
Ur life changes, Friends change, People change but ur heart has those precious moments engraved in it whether u want it or not.
They are always there, making u happy at sad times and sad at happy times.
U thinks about those happy days then smile and when somebody asks the reason for ur smile,
U just say.

Mar 12th, 2013 1:29 PM

Aye Raat Sony Dy Youn Tang Na Kia Kr,
Bekaar Sawalon Main Paband Na Kia Kr

Mar 09th, 2013 3:53 PM

Can you talk about the art of nourishing oneself with love?' There is no art because there is no need of any effort. Love is the nourishment. But humanity has been so confused by its leaders that one does not know the most inner realms of one's own being. Love is nourishment in itself. The more you love, the more you will find untrodden spaces where love goes on and on spreading around you like an aura.

"But that kind of love has not been allowed by any culture. They have forced love into a very small tunnel: you can love your wife, your wife can love you; you can love your children, you can love your parents, you can love your friends. And they have made two things so deeply rooted in every human being. One is that love is something very limited – friends, family, children, husband, wife. And the second thing they have insisted is that there are many kinds of love.

"You love in one way when you love your husband or your wife; then you have to bring another kind of love when you love your children, and another kind of love when you love your elders, your family, your teachers, and then another kind of love for your friends. But the truth is, love cannot be categorized the way it has been categorized throughout the whole history of mankind. There were reasons for them to categorize it but their reasons are ugly and inhuman, because in this categorization they killed love...

"The reason why all the cultures have insisted on categorization is because they have been very much afraid of love, is because if there is existential love, then it does not know boundaries – then you cannot put Hindus against Mohammedans, then you cannot put Protestants against Catholics. Then you cannot draw a line saying that you cannot love this person because he is Jewish, Chinese. The leaders of the world wanted to divide the world, but to divide the world they have to do the basic division which is of love."

Mar 09th, 2013 3:46 PM

We begin with one of the most profound sutras of Gautama the Buddha: 'Love yourself…'
"Just the opposite has been taught to you by all the traditions of the world, all the civilizations, all the cultures, all the churches. They say: "Love others, don't love yourself." And there is a certain cunning strategy behind their teaching.

"Love is the nourishment for the soul. Just as food is to the body, so love is to the soul. Without food the body is weak, without love the soul is weak. And no state, no church, no vested interest, has ever wanted people to have strong souls, because a person with spiritual energy is bound to be rebellious.

"Love makes you rebellious, revolutionary. Love gives you wings to soar high. Love gives you insight into things, so that nobody can deceive you, exploit you, oppress you. And the priests and the politicians survive only on your blood – they survive only on exploitation. All the priests and all the politicians are parasites.

"To make you spiritually weak they have found a sure method, one hundred percent guaranteed, and that is to teach you not to love yourself. If a man cannot love himself he cannot love anybody else either. The teaching is very tricky. They say "Love others," because they know if you cannot love yourself you cannot love at all. But they go on saying, "Love others, love humanity, love God, love nature, love your wife, your husband, your children, your parents, but don't love yourself" – because to love oneself is selfish according to them.

They condemn self-love as they condemn nothing else – and they have made their teaching look very logical. They say: "If you love yourself you will become an egoist, if you love yourself you will become narcissistic." It is not true. A man who loves himself finds that there is no ego in him. It is by loving others without loving yourself, trying to love others, that the ego arises.
"The missionaries, the social reformers, the social servants, have the greatest egos in the world – naturally, because they think themselves to be superior human beings. They are not ordinary: ordinary people love themselves; they love others, they love great ideals, they love God. And all their love is false, because all their love is without any roots. A man who loves himself takes the first step towards real love."

Feb 18th, 2013 3:36 PM

"A person who believes in working...
Will always have a job...
A person who thinks "kon kare.."..will always be a boss"

Feb 09th, 2013 7:13 PM

aaj ki baarish par KUCH LAFZ

Ye barishain bhi tum si hain,
Jo baras gayi tou bahaar hain,
Jo thehar gayi tou qaraar hain,
Kabhi aa gayi yunhi be’sabab,
Kabhi chaa gayi yunhi roz-o-shab,
Kabhi shor hai, kabhi chup si hain,
Ye barishain bhi tum si hain,
Raat ko ik dabi hui si raakh ko,
Kabhi yun hua ke bujha dia,
Kabhi khud se khud ko jala dia,
Kahin boond boond mein gum si hain,
Ye barishain bhi tum si hain..

Dec 04th, 2012 3:32 PM

I just hate that many of them can be soooo INSECURE, COMPETITIVE, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE, JEALOUS, SUSPICIOUS, CATTY, MANIPULATING, NEEDY, OBSESSED and INFATUATED. I understand the feelings can grow when you spend time with someone.

But come on! Get a grip ladies! You are not in a committed dating relationship with this guy. You are just getting to know him. Be a friend. Guard your heart and quit being so desperate and shallow.

Don't cheapen yourself by throwing yourself on a guy or sleeping with him, when there is a chance you could be eliminated tomorrow. Have some self-respect and substance. Wait your turn. Stop interrupting someone else's quality time with the bachelor.
Then when the opportunity comes to have time alone, let it be natural and express yourself. But be real - not fake. If there is a connection - then great. If not - then that's ok too. Even though Ben is great, you don't want to get stuck with the wrong guy.
There is someone for everyone. Deal with your issues and be free!!!!! And be ready for the right one.

Oct 30th, 2012 3:40 PM

Throw your dreams into the space like a kite,
And you do not know what it will bring back,
A new Life, A new Friend, A new Love….
Have a sweet dreams..............

Oct 23th, 2012 9:05 PM

Really guys, living the life of a single man does have its benefits. For instance, you can go to bed at whatever time you wish. Same with getting up in the morning, whatever time you like.
Television? Watch what you want to watch, with the volume as high as you want.
Eat what and whenever you are hungry.
Yes, who needs a wife and children?

Take this morning for example. I rolled out of bed at ten-thirty, and after a quick wash and shave (optional) I strolled into town.
I ate a hearty breakfast without any vocal reminders that I wasn't doing my heart any favours by eating so much, then it was into the betting shop for a while, then into the pub for a couple of pints with the lads.
I don't really know, but that bus-driver wasn't really very quick in the old reflex department as I tried to cross the road in front of him.
The bus hit me squarely in the back and sent me flying like a Don, arms and legs careening like a crazy circus performer.
I hit the floor with a sickening crash and lay there for a few moments to get my bearings.
Rising to my feet I was surprised to find that I was OK, no broken bones or anything, other than a strange light-headed feeling.
I quickly hurried off, too embarrassed to face the bus-driver and the stares of interested spectators.

I arrived home in a bit of a sweat and lay on the bed for a while to recuperate. I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes again it was four p.m.

My stomach felt empty once more, and finding nothing to my taste in the larder I headed back into town to enjoy yet another cafe meal.

As I was walking along the high street I stopped and looked down at the floral tributes that had been placed on the pavement.They were laid at exactly the same spot where I had had my lucky escape with the bus this morning.

Suddenly the reality of my predicament hit me like a thunderbolt exploding in my mind.
I looked around, aghast that nobody looked back at me.

I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came from my throat.
I wanted to cry, but tears would not form.
I longed desperately to resort to my native instinct when faced with emergencies and run away, but just where do ghosts run to?

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