Born Human... Dead Human's Diary

learning how to do other basic things... I unlearnt how to write... just for a while (though) ART OF WRITING Installed back now with more free memory in my BRAIN-disk

Learning locomotion and few other motions
I am falling prey also to emouions
and my notions about emotions are wide as oceans
that flow endlessly for generations
and so my own nation of Plato is infected of emotions
and it is time to grow from a Plato to an Aristotle,
though yet quite small and tiny-little,
I am quite smart and won't let myself be constrained in EMOTION's bottle!!

Learning is the principle of life!

Learning to breath, learning to suck, learning to gulp, learning to poop, learning to listen, learning to look, learning to stare, learning to care... for oneself!!

Everyone who lifts me in their amrs surely wonders why i clutch them so tight...??
Though a little baby, i am born with fright
and
with care for myself!

L i f e
indeed

is
a

L
E

A

R
N
I
N

G




P

H
A

S
E



Lessons from the ALIVE ###3 : Life is a learning phase!

Pinched back to life from my deadly dream
I awake with a cry and not a scream
I wake to this merry reality
and for now I'm at other's pity
soon to take to life and take it up as my duty
but, does a child have any liberty?

Lessons from the ALIVE ## 2 : I and ME are born before I am actually born!

Yes this red sea is me...

yes, it is my blood indeed.

I am reborn now...

not yet born exactly... but concieved!


I am like a dream... concieved, to come to existance soon.


I am now alive :)

Lessons from the ALIVE #1 : Always trust your intuition!

This red sea I see is enveloping me....

within itself,

I feel claustrophobic...

within this sea...

This is that is surrounding me....

with care?

Could that be??

This red sea... I see is a sea or somthing that I don't see?

What is this red sea?
What is this redness?
What is all this red-red??
What is this colour?
Is it the colour of blood?
Is this blood?

My blood?

Is it...????????


I was dead long ago... then my blood..... how could it be... seriously... ???
My blood must have dried up...

all of it exhausted...
evaporated...
gone...

then where does this redness come from?
Where does this red blood come from?

I have a feeling it is mine...
mine own...
could it be??

This red sea that I see...
could it be?

The emotions connect
though I cannot feel touch yet,
the sounds I can hear,
though I cannot comprehend,
the aura I experience
though I cannot judge

what is all this...

this newness.... i guess... is a new begining...
but when will there come an end to old things...
when?
I still cannot see,
and still,
I am in the read sea.

Red objects are forming all round me...
Sounds reach me, but slowly!
I know there is a movement.... towards a new moment!

I feel I am not alone,
left to decay in this red zone.This red spreads all around,
new redness spreads unbound!

In this red sea.... I see new hope.

Is this red see... but a womb
to deliver me
into a new world...
this red sea
that I see
is it going to rejuvenate me
??????????????


Reborn from the dead....

I think the very sea I could see around me,
all red and lonley...
was the red of the womb
that has been nurturing me!

#NEWHOPENEWLIFENEWDEATHNEWLESSONSFORLIFEFROMTHEALIVE!!

Sailing upon this red sea... I see a new horizon beckoning me!!!

My heart is brimming with zest anew... these moments of loneliness are now but few.

Will there be...
a new being?
will it really be??

Doubtfilled, dumbfound, dreaming of newness in a new sea, a new world... the same old one?

Let us see...
where takes this red see...
you and me!

Are you there...?
Can you hear?
Can you read??? my readers... I am far beyond dead... but I see a new horizon!!

S E A

END

that is where I am.

At this end and you... reading at the other end.

Thanks you for journeying along.


Resting in hell/heaven/LOVE??!!


The red see I could see is drowning me...

end.

Di
s

i
n te
g

ra t
i o


n


is a hell kinda thing X O : ' C

And

RED

is not the colour of anything but bloody terror

or

is it because I am alive after death only coz of our love that my sea that I see is RED?

Is read really really really really really really really really really really the colour of blood??


I know and I know nothing............

Lesson to learn from the dead # 9 ######### Never make general, absolute 'I know it all' kinda statements.

No one can neverever know all % S

I know that I know nothing............

Dead Human... Born Human.

After laughter... the next thing we were destined to lose is hunger.

Till the moment when my stomach didn't feel hungry anymore, I never though where food came from. Though, lately, I couldn't see.. but there never in this red ocean have I seen anyone serving, cooking or farming.

Now I really wonder, if we ever ate food from a plate, or were there just timely hallucinations of having eaten, everytime that our stomach felt satiated!!

Life here is very very queer.

Now, the hunger sensation is gone and also has gone along the sensation of satiety.

Perhaps, like eyes, the stomach has disintegrated.

No more got hunger, no more got a stomach... no food, no satiety... no lie, no truth, no reality... only guessing!


Living after dead...

BORN HUMAN DEAD HUMAN.

Missing

L
A
U
G
H
T
E
R

her laughter.

I still love her... my wife from my last life :(

I m_st j_st tell y_o that I am missing y_o... so I am anno_ncing here... thro_gh this _ns_al way of writing... that I am missing y_o.

Love beyond limits, yet within the wedlock!!

Love you...
In afterlife...
your legal-lover (husband),

- BORN HUMAN... DEAD HUMAN.

I was in a LAUGHTER CHAMBER as I told you...

but what I didn't tell you is what a LAUGHTER CHAMBER is.

As we headed towards the LAUGHTER CHAMBER, our ears brimmed with baby-laughter ringing aloud. Yes, the LAUGHTER CHAMBER is know for echoes of laughter sound. The baby-laughter was so ticklish, that we all began laughing along.
After a long time, I was assured that I am not journeying across all alone. I heard the laughter of my travel-mates.

The LAUGHTER CHAMBER is where we had entered. We heard baby-laughter and my mind picturing images of kids I had ever seen in my lifetime. I longed to see those babies that were laughing... perhaps they were there... laughing around me. Having no eyes, my visual thirst was never quenched. And we left the laughter chamber, all longing to see the laughing babies.

The LAUGHTER CHAMBER is, in my understanding, a queer place. Baby-laughter and our laughter filled the chamber. The babies were perhaps learning the art of laughing... practicing... and we, unlearning... at the strange crossroads of the LAUGHTER CHAMBER, we met, the babies went ahead, with laughter learnt and we too have left the LAUGHTER CHAMBER, laughter unlearnt.

It is interesting how we disintegrate and unlearn. Glad to be alive though through this process whcih is one of a kind, indeed.

The LAUGHTER CHAMBER was like a school, learning and unlearning took place there.

After sight, laughter next, lost, unlearned. We are cleansed in a sense and in a sense... free of the desire to see and laugh... catharsis... if anything I could call this process. A catharsis of unlearning.

Freed of the burden of knowing and of body... I feel light and free.. I feel freed from the burden of the sound of my laughter, which at several times in my lifetime, I had used or rather misused at both right and wrong times!

Lesson to learn from the dead # 8 ######## Sound of laughter is a property. We who own it, must use it and not misuse it. Value it, for one day, we'll all loose it.

(missed my love's special laughter... a sound that meant the world to me :'( )

- BORN HUMAN... DEAD HUMAN.

Laughter is bliss
Laughter isa blessing
Laughter is...

perhaps a many more things, but how do I know NOW! :

L
A
U
G
H
T
E
R
.

Sorry readers and my dear dear Diary...

I could not write for all these days.

I know you were waiting to read... but I just couldn't write.
I was overwhelmed by the experience I had to such an extent that I just could not disengage myself from it and turn to writing about it.

I was LOCKED in a LAUGHTER CHAMBER!!

Yes a laughter chamber.

Just got out.

Will take a while for me to comprehend the whole experience and write more about it.

LAUGHTER on mind, soul and perhaps body??!!

- BORN HUMAN... DEAD HUMAN.

Now, the waves are washing...

something.
I feel light...
as though a pain is vanishing
or
all parts are vanishing
perhaps,
the body is disintegrating...
washed by the waves
like hand castles disintegrate
when it rains.
Something

very unusual is happening...

and all I cna do is keep my calm.

Lesson to learn from the dead # 7 ####### Keep calm... no matter what!

Trying to keep calm... amidst all.

- BORN HUMAN... DEAD HUMAN.

Crossing the red sea...

is bringing on a lot of creativity.

I just coined this:

Garba-like waves
progress and regress
and then progress
such is their gait

I don't know if it makes sense to you...

but I believe it to be true.

I
miss
you
so
much
my
dear
dear
wife
that
I
love
you
even
after
the
end
of
my
life.

I think of you and caress this sea
that envelops me (though it is only big as all the water in one's palm)
for it is the only
only thing I have besides me
as I lie in my bed and try to sleep.

Miss those days when we lay
besides eachother...
sometimes,
over eachother...
sometimes,
under eachother...
sometimes,
in eachother...
without anything to bother
you or me.

Now, there are distances,
there is this sea I see
so I cuddle the sea
and for you in it I see.

And springs this poetry:

She makes the ship sail as she twists in her bed,
She reflects the yellow sun and makes the blue sky red,
She yawns so melodiously that we yearn to hear her calling,
She washes the shore with her waters and we say the planet it mating,
She calls the cloud to come and laugh out loud,
She... like a temptress,
wears a silver dress
and invites the (k)night,
She pulls our feet and tells us to meet her,
forgetting our fear... She spreads her cozy arms around us
and we surrender to her love.

Miss you my love.