I'm just a teenage girl who feels comfortable writing her feelings and day on a sheet of paper, then tearing it up. I'm cheerful, fun to be with, and beautiful in God's eyes. Lots of love to possible readers!
17 years old, Female, Nigeria
So I'm done completely with my secondary school and I'm back. So I guess I have some time for you....I'll be resuming University next year in January. I'm so happy!!
Today was....idk. Maybe okay? I'm still trying to settle down completely with the matter of my classes. I didn't talk to the V.P tho, cuz I realized that he won't change his mind.This morning, he even told me that I'll be having my morning assemblies in my official class. Today was okay actually too....except for the fact that I still dosed off in some of my classes. I hate doing that. I don't wanna look like an unserious person always sleeping when there's work to be done.It's time for siesta right now as I write this. I have to sleep cuz I have loads of work to do to keep me busy during both my afternoon prep, and my night prep.
I've found a solution concerning the labcoat issue. My chemistry teacher said she didn't think it would be compulsory. But if it ever became a compulsory something,she would give me hers. How nice of her tho. All the teachers are just being so nice.....unlike on normal school days. I think it's the juniors that frustrate them enough to frustrate us.
I and the first 'he' didn't talk at all today. We just kept passing each other like complete strangers. The second 'he' and I talked well today.....like always anyway. Then the last 'he'.......I hardly even saw him. I'm gonna try talking to him later this evening tho. I pray everything goes well.
DG, Idk why....I feel so out of place sometimes....especially when I'm in my non-official class. I feel like no one wants me there. It's just so weird. I don't feel as good as I usually felt in our normal SS3A class list. I miss that class asf. In this class....I usually feel.....like........a new student of the school. Infact, I can't describe how I feel. I pray this feeling goes away.
Good morning :). It's 11:59 now and the school update has started. Stay connected ;). Btw, my WAEC result is out. It's not so good, but I still thank God.
THANK YOU, LORD (HEART)
English Language: C5
Computer Studies: A1
Civic Education: A1
Foods and Nutrition: B2
Garment Making: B3
NOTE: The first 'he' is FA, my IG guy friend, and classmate.
The second 'he' is Cosmic.
The third 'he' is Caeser.
I'm in school, I've settled down and I came yesterday. We both came yesterday and when I learned that he had also resumed, I was so afraid.....and I still am. I thought he was still angry at me, Idk, but he greeted me. I'm so afraid and I feel like a fool. Whoever imagined I would be in this position?? Everything seems so real right now.
The other 'he' has resumed. I'm so excited to see him, he looks different to me, Idk why.
I feel sleepy suddenly and everything is so fucked up. It makes us seem so disorganized.
I have been asked to relocate my class, from the Junior School section to the Senior School section. I have a lot of questions concerning my movement, but I guess there won't be any answers provided. Unfortunately, I won't be in the same class with the last 'he'.
I'm in the same class with Cosmic tho. We do NOT like that class I swear....but we don't have any choice tho.
So at the end of school hours for today, I found out that I have to be managing my two classes. The one in the Senior School section and the one in the Junior School section. The one in the Senior section.....or the Senior section generally would be used only during school hours by just the few day students in our set. I seriously don't know why I have to be part of the students there when I'm actually a boarder. Well, I'm not the only one tho, but still! So I'll go there for my classes, then go back to Junior School in the evening. It's so stressful. I'm going to beg the V.P again because it's simply just too stressful for me. Maybe it's because school's just starting....but still!!!
The last 'he' acme in the evening......around 5 or so. We haven't spoken to each other yet tho. I was even too shy to look back at him. Cuz I'm sitting at the front part of the Junior school class. But Divine is still at my front, so I'm not at the front front. But in my Senior School class, I'm at the complete back :).
Today was so stressful for me, I slept in my Garment Making class....what a stupid class! Then I slept again during our two hours night prep. I guess it's bc I didn't take a nap. Since I slept for like most of the time during prep, I have plans to read tonight. And yeah, I was dosing off during my Maths class too. Such a drag right? I know.
*Sigh* I don't wanna be a wreck this time. I wanna be focused and just use this tiny time left to study what I gotta. I don't want any distractions and I'm highly vulnerable to distractions. God, please help me.
Another *sigh*! It's so terrible that we can't have any visiting day. I can't believe it. And my birthday happens to fall on a certain 'visiting day'. This extension can't get any worse. Pleeeease don't allow it to, oh Lord!
DG, I was so paranoid when I wanted to tell my dad about me getting a lab coat. I told him I just heard about it (when I actually didn't just hear about it.) Which was a terrible mistake. Fact is...no matter how I put it, he still would have gotten angry. He literally exploded on the phone. I can't remember the last time I heard him shout that way.....it sounded like he wanted to cry....lol. Yeah, I know it's not easy to come over to my school, but I can't afford to not have a lab coat for my Chemistry Practical examination! After all, mummy said that if I needed anything, I should just call immediately, so.......what's the biggie??
Gotta go now..ttyl (heart).
Happy new month!!!! It's one more month till 2020 ends....wow. So yeah....nothing much is basically happening, apart from the fact that our WAEC results are out...everyone is tense...the atmosphere's really tense. I just pray my result turns out to be okay...so I won't have to sit for NECO...some of my mates aren't even coming back ever again...even for our graduation service....sad right? It really is...I usually feel like crying when I think about the fact that my two really close guy friends aren't gonna be back. But all the same, we're to keep hoping for the best :). So, apart from that, nothing else is actually going on...
So, I just want to fill you up on what's been going on with me at school...basically from August through to....August..? Lolzz. So pay attention DG ;).
I'm back again..... :) I went to school again and now I'm back because of the #ENDSARS protest my country had. Right now, I'm busy with my sister. I'll try my possible best to get back to you ASAP! Ttyl.
It has happened! Bestie told me she learned how to masturbate today. I can't believe it! She says the feeling at the moment was hot, that her body was shaking due to over-excitement, and she even cried. I asked her who taught her, and she said one of the guys on her dm....gosh! Now, she told me she feels like a stranger to herself and she feels that she's let herself down. Please forgive her Lord.... :( :( :( . Give her grace Lord...How could she do this to herself?? I don't even know what else to say...ttyl DG.
So yeah. DG, this week and even last week has been stressful, thus I haven't been able to spend time with you.
Well....today's finally here......it's the day I'm going to school to complete my exams in the final year. I missed school a whole lot some weeks back......but now, I can't even stand the thought! lol......What's gotta happen, gotta happen DG. I'm gonna miss u like......tf! All my junior friends were literally crying into my DM yesterday......it was such an emotional moment....cuz we know we aren't meeting till November -_-. I wonder when they'll actually get to resume.....next year January?? Idk....lol.
My subjects.......I'm in God's hands, I swear...
Maths- God help me......By God's grace...
English- God help me......Yassssss!
Biology- God help me.........Yasssssss!
Physics- God help me.......By God's grace...
Chemistry- God help me.
Computer Studies- God help me......By God's grace...
Civic Education- God help me........Yasssssssss!
F/N- God help me..........Yassssssssss!
G/M- God help me......Yassssssssssss!
I'm so damn scared of that Chemistry of a subject! :(
It's like it keeps hunting me!
The sight of the teachers for the subject alone....sends shivers down my spine and lets my heart skip 5 beats...
I can't believe I'll be seeing the faces of those annoying teachers once again...GOSH!!
DG......seriously speaking, I'm gonna miss u....and y'all readers too.....I'm gonna miss ur frequent daily checks on my entries....lol....
Ttyl DG....when it's November or thereabout.....when the year 2020 will almost be gone......ILYSM!
Happy New Month to you!!! It's August, and if not for Covid-19, I'd have had lots of activities in store for my family and I......but God knows why.
DG, today is my little sister's birthday! She's my immediate sibling, and she's six years old now. The night before was fun. My mom hadn't been around for the past two days, so it was just dad, me, my sister and my brother, and the maid that were home. I have to admit...it was fun. There was nobody to nag all day long. Not that she nags non-stop, but it seems like we always have something to do all the time when she's home. No offense mom. When she wasn't around, the house was so peaceful, and everyone was so free. Dad just did his stuff and kept to himself. On the first night, we, actually I in person, thought we would watch a movie. But dad didn't let us, claiming he couldn't afford to sleep late, since we've been doing it for a long time (I mean sleeping really late like 12 or 1:00 am). Then the next night, which was last night, we watched movie(s). We watched three with dad, then he watched some by himself, cuz I and everyone except dad went to the room to play. Well, not play exactly. I was talking to David, one of my crushes-turned friends (lol), and then everyone came to join me. That's also what I mean when I say I don't get to enjoy privacy in the house :(. But, it was still fun, nevertheless. When our voices started to get too loud, dad came and collected the phone....hahaha! He looked angry, and when I reminded him of my sister's birthday, I expected him to wish her a happy birthday at least, instead, he just walked away angrily with my phone.....most times, the attitude he puts up when it comes to her gets me thinking. David was the second person to tell my sis happy birthday. I was the first ;). Trust me to be the first, especially when I have the chance. Mom was the third. I guess dad forgot, all bc of the movie he was watching -_-. When she called us, she led us into a prayer session -_-. We prayed eh! Gosh! Now she's back. She came just in time for my sister's online little birthday party. We all thank God.....we're going back to regular days....(lol). Ttyl DG.
I need to write this down to keep track.
I now have hangouts and discord. And I'm dating an extra guy online....jxt started today...and he's 15.....I simply can't believe it. I never even thought I'd be into online dating, to begin with. I learnt he has learning disabilities, so I started talking to him today. He was always looking for someone to chat him up anyways. Was so surprised he asked me out the same day we started talking. Robert doesn't talk. I'll let him go one of these days....DG, can u believe that he even made a big deal out of it the day he had to be the one texting me first..?? It was such a ridiculous thing to do. Seems he wants the desperate type! For me, it's the other way round, please...
DG, I'm going back to school on Tuesday.....I'm sad u won't be there with me :( I realized that keeping a diary with you is a whole lot easier. I don't forget about you, unlike when I keep a physical book diary.
Nothing so interesting came up today tho.
My sister's birthday is coming up on Saturday :)
So today, I heard the most shocking news of all time: Final year students in Nigeria (Year 6, Year 9 and Year 12 students) are resuming school on the 4th of August, and our exams are starting on the 17th. Well, I'm not sure of Year 6 and 9 students. It's actually just WAEC students I heard. I feel so lost and confused right now......after they made us lose all hope! How am I gonna fix a three-year syllabus back into my head in two weeks?? I guess I should tell you now DG, that I won't be giving updates every day anymore. I just wanna write this exam, and pass with great scores and leave Secondary School...Ugh!! Then it won't be on my mind ever again. So help me God...
Ex didn't come online today again. Cosmic didn't come online too. I miss those guys. Je's birthday is in three days. And I met ANOTHER guy today. Daniel. He's been on my contact list since when, and I didn't even know! We got to know each other when he replied to one of my posts on my status. Then I later posted a framed picture of myself someone made for me. He immediately landed in my dm, telling me that I'm so beautiful. It was so funny! He said so many things in like thirty minutes. Within those thirty minutes, I got to know that we even live in the same area! How shocking! He immediately asked me for the name of the estate I live in, telling me that he was on his way already. Haha! I couldn't stop laughing. I told him anyway, cuz I know visitors can't get in unless they get the permission of the tenant who invited them over. If he ever appears here, I can easily deny the fact that I know him from anywhere. But I warned him of it tho. I told him he shouldn't even think of it since I'm living with my parents. He seemed very serious, as he asked me when it would be possible for us to meet outside the estate. He thought I come out by myself sometimes, maybe for a walk or something. I told him we can't meet at all cuz number 1: I don't go out myself. We all go out as a family. And number two: We or I.....I hardly even go out. Well ever since this lockdown started, it's been this way. He sent me two of his pictures and I must say...I would actually like to date him if I had the chance. He's cool, cute, and he seems pretty responsible. He told me to mention what it would cost him to be my man. I was lost for words DG. I know there's just no point in me naming things when I obviously know we can't meet.
It's just so sad DG. I'm feeling sleepy now, so....gotta go. Ttyl.
Time: 11:08 pm.
One more thing....permit me to use this medium...
Hey readers. I know y'all love reading these open dairies people have posted here. Please I just wanna beg you to also try developing interests in the posts too. I have three posts there and I don't like the fact that none of them is getting any progress. Yeah, this might sound desperate, but the number of 'unique readers' I see and the comments under can really give me a boost up. It's really encouraging.
A hint I can give you of seeing at least one of my three posts is that you'll find (if you're patient enough) an exact write up I dropped here in my diary in the posts section......like a poem, though it's not. And the post is one of the most recent ones, so.....it shouldn't be a problem.
If you don't mind doing that for me, thanks so much. I love you to the moon and back. And if you just don't have the time or something, and you still end up not making an effort, nevermind. It's just for those who love my open diary and find it interesting. Hopefully, they'll find my posts interesting too. Have a beautiful day ahead....ILYSM!
Indeed I forgot to give you more updates as I totally left you hanging. lol. I'm sorry tho. Idk why the time that shows after each entry is so incorrect....Okay, maybe WriterBabu strictly follows another country's time or something. So, the time presently is 4:27 am. Happy new week btw.
Okay, so usually, every night before I go to sleep, my phone gets partially ceased from me...(like I'm not allowed to use it at night). But sometimes, my parents, either mom or dad forgets to collect it and it spends the night in the living room, charging. I usually give you updates using my laptop. So, tonight was one of those 'lucky' nights, as dad left my phone in the living room. I didn't realize at first until I came out later. The first thing I did after switching it on was that I went to IG. I'm not allowed to be online on Whatsapp after like 12 or so, and I respect that a lot. So I texted FA, wishing him a great day ahead and apologizing for somethings that happened between us like 3 weeks ago. I also greeted Angela, and some of my other friends....I'm sure they'll be surprised by the 'early morning messages'. I just had to do that cuz I definitely wouldn't be able to get in touch later in the day.......because my mom has problems with my involvement with some social media apps. Truth is she only approves of me using Whatsapp. Her reason being that now is not the time. But guess what DG. I've successfully been able to secretly manage Facebook, and Instagram, and Snapchat, and Tic Toc, and Telegram......Telegram???! Well, I'm sure she's never even noticed that. Haha. Even I forget that's it's there in my phone!
Please don't call me a bad girl or a disrespectful child. What would you have done in a situation as mine?? I was only curious and I have a dire need of keeping in touch with my friends...especially during this extreme holiday. Speaking of which, I'm getting interested in this season's Big Brother Naija......I swear I never thought it would happen!.... Every news I hear and read about it.....m just lovin' it baby!..... But I still don't have a favorite contestant. Not yet tho. I even know some of their names.....Lilo, Ngegi, Ozo, Vee, Eric, Erica, Laycon,....well that's all I have in my head.
Ex didn't come online today. Cosmic got in trouble with his parents today, so his mom has started reading his chats. I chatted him up in the evening, first time of the day, and he told me to start texting him like a Christian now...lol. We didn't chat much at all. Even I and Je, and Robert and I. I guess we all were in the 'Sunday Mood'. Haha. I met a new guy today...Zee. And I think there's one tryna get me....Lamide. I love the way he calls me baby. Funny right? I know...but he keeps telling me to call him. He's told me two times now. I mustered the courage to do so yesterday evening. Luckily, he didn't pick up. DG, what does it mean when a guy....(an online guy you haven't met before, and you don't know him) starts asking you to call him, claiming he just wants to hear your voice?? Thank goodness I've already called and he didn't pick up. That missed call should last him the rest of the year!
Feeling sleepy now DG, wbu? Haha! It's 5:07 am btw.....have a beautiful day ahead DG and Diamond. Ttyl.
Happy Sunday...! So, today, nothing much is happening. Mum and dad are out, so we're just lazying around the house (lol). Still thinking about yesterday's incident, it can't leave my memory in a hurry. Yeah, in my anger, I forgot to tell you yesterday that my ex and I chatted. We even have a matter to settle. Not serious tho, just that he has issues expressing how he really feels about me. I've teased him so many times, asking if he's shy or something. Truth is....we're actually each other's first (blush). And the reason is that....he was never a dating type. He didn't have intentions of dating, maybe cuz he hadn't found a girl he liked. So, when I joined the school, I still don't know what happened...I guess it's a story for another day. Maybe later today. Gotta go DG. Ttyl.
Luckily, I'm definitely not leaving you hanging like this. There'll be more entries later today. Muah!
This is an update of how my day went. I have a feeling it might be long tho...
Okay, so today, I felt so down. Well not too down. That's why I wrote something down here earlier. Our tests are over...and...well, nothing to do. I started chatting when I saw Troy's text. Troy's the guy I wrote about in my previous update. Finally. I could not believe I was begging a guy so hard just for a reply! I had sent him a 'hey' text so many times, just that afternoon. I even called him, he didn't pick up. I stared at the message. He dropped 6 actually. Told me he was sleeping and he just woke up. I knew he was lying. I just decided to let go. He asked of my day and if I was alright. We started chatting, but it was so unusual. Like...it felt like there was an attitude or something. He asked me to tell him more about myself, which I did. He did the same too. Mind you DG, this happened AFTER he asked me to send some pictures of myself. I did send them. After all, sending pics to people is what I love doing. They were just normal pictures, so don't let your mind wander away.
He sent me his pictures too, they were the exact ones I had seen of him on the site we met. Plus three new ones tho. I had to do a double-take for those. No, they weren't hot. They looked disgusting to me. He looked chubby in one, he even had a mustache there. In the second one, his lips looked extremely baggy and not in shape. His hair was.....there's this weird feeling I have when I look at his pictures. Especially when his hair is really showing. It's unusually long and black and just somehow. And then the third one?.... I think he took it while he was masturbating. He wore only knee-length shorts with no shirt, and he stood, with his hand down there. I could see a part of his pubic hair (the camera captured that) GROSS... I told him they were nice (why did I lie??), but they were the ones I saw in the site. He just replied 'so?'. Gosh! I obviously noticed this drastic change, or should I say totally different person from the one I chatted with on the site. Still, I watched....' what would happen next' was the question on my mind. Then he said: What now?
Even I was wondering. I knew I would be in trouble if I didn't act fast. I told him I didn't know, then I asked him how his day went. After answering, he immediately asked me if I liked 'horny relationships'. What the?? One thing about me is that I love to play dumb when I'm with naughty people, especially when I know just what they want. I told him I wasn't sure yet, that I just liked the cool regular ones. He immediately asked: 'Wdym?', attaching a sad emoji to it. I don't even know what type of emoji it is. I then asked him to describe what he liked doing or what was involved in this his 'horny relationship'. I knew just what he was driving at. He replied: Love, care, nudes, etc. I told him, 'Well, I can't send my nudes'. Then he started asking me if I wanted his kind of relationship or not, telling me that if I didn't wanna send nudes, then he'd leave, cuz he had told me on the site that he wanted a relationship. Wow! My jaw literally dropped. He never told me 'horny relationship'! What kinda person is this anyway?? Did he think I'd be begging or what? I had never experienced this crap before...I didn't know what to do. At first, I wanted to beg him to at least let us be friends, but I changed my mind. I can't be friends with this miserable phony! I told him I could offer all but nudes. Suddenly, I felt as if....as if I was negotiating over my body for a pay. Like I was begging for a job. What nonsense! Maybe he thought I wouldn't think bc I'm a Nigerian and he's a Canadian. Even my school guys wouldn't behave this way. I was beginning to feel like a prostitute, I wouldn't lie.
He told me that it was nice chatting with me, that he was leaving, that I should go find a relationship somewhere else. Wtf?? I flared up and said: 'Who the hell do you think you are? You seemed so nice on the site, you never behaved this way. I'm loving, I'm caring, I'm everything but I just can't send nudes! Why are you doing this to me??' All he said was: 'It was nice meeting you.' Then he put a red heart beside it. I apologized immediately for the sudden flare-up and told him my bye, and that I hope he finds love. I ended the chat, not wanting to read anymore from him. I changed his contact from 'Troy' with 3 different hearts to 'Stranger' with a boring look emoji. After that, I proceeded to block him....and report his line. I didn't care what might happen to him. He's such a monster. Luckily, all our chats disappeared, and his name disappeared from my chat list. Phew! I couldn't believe I just chatted with a......I don't even know what else to call him.
I thought about everything over and over, and I still can't stop thinking. I just couldn't imagine me wasting precious time to take pictures of myself naked for one horny cow. A lot of things could happen. Not even adding the fact that I would be done for if I ever got caught. Talkless of living in a house with no actual privacy. Only mom and dad got their privacy.
I just can't afford to hurt myself the second time.....I'll just stick to my ex.....there's a great possibility of us getting back together. He's so calm and I love him like that. I would have never appreciated his calmness if I hadn't met Troy. The animal! I'm just going to get my ex to fall for me again.....I did it before, I definitely can do it again.
I feel I need a hug so badly.
I'm surrounded by people, but I feel lonely...
Infact, I might need a kiss.
And I know just the right person...Je.
Or maybe they're two: he plus Caeser.
I feel so crushed. Don't know what caused it.
Three guys are turning my head right now......they plus Cosmic.
There's a fourth puppy.....Robert, but he's just not qualified.
How can I be drawn to you when I don't even know you??
Sorry, Robert, I'm gonna have to let you go sooner than you expect.
Then there's a fifth guy I'm definitely craving for.....Troy.
I'm so damn desperate......I don't know what to do.
Maybe it's bc I didn't hear from Caeser today.
And Je didn't give me the excess attention he gave yesterday.
Cosmic talked to me......he needed someone to talk to.....he was down.
M happy I made him feel a lot better.
Yeah, I did mighty.
So today, I'm going to be adding multiple updates today so.......don't let it seem unusual to you. It could happen occasionally, or just when I feel like it.
Own a diary. Keep note of what is going on in your life. It would be amazing to look at it few years down the line. Or, you can have a diary of your imagination. A life you want to live. Note down what your character will be doing each day. Live a different life. You can keep it personal. Create one now. You'll love this concept. Login to create new.