Esperanto's Diary

Esperanto's Diary

Open diary

There is something in every person that makes him go through and going, HOPE. It's the same with me :)

21 years old, Male, Dreamland ;)

Diary Entries (111)

Jun 1st, 2017 00:05 AM

Hi there,
It's almost been a year now. I remember the days when I used to be here everyday. How things have changed. Every year during vacations I do have this urge to write but then I end up doing unnecessary things and then one fine night I sit down and write down things here and leave for a long gap, only to return again.
I've realized that this might be something that they call, the writer's block. I have overcome the period of my life which had me caged and there is no need of an escape now. I am free, although I follow and maintain a simple routine and continue doing regular stuff daily but I'm happy that I create.
Okay, so what's happened over the past one year?
I went to college, that would be my answer in a sentence, but lets break it. I resumed my classes after the break finished with a semester came back home when to college again, finished another semester and I'm home again. I had been to Barailey and Jaipur though, representing the college. I tried my hand in all sorts of design and software works. That has been pretty much it. I have friends with whom I share a shelter and with whom I go to college, there are a few very close to me as well.
I love my work, watch football matches, eat good, try to stay fit and life goes on.
That's all that I had to update. See you soon :)

Jun 27th, 2016 01:50 AM

~Life cannot be captured

Again a gap since my last diary entry, but I guess it might be this way. I just pen down the important aspects of my life here sometimes along the year. Although this might also not be this way, who know what life has to offer?
Now the times that I had spent during my school life have become distant memories. There is this thought that hit my mind a few days back.
"What's left of this place? Just packets of memories, packets which are wrapped up in all shiny wraps on the outside but empty on the inside." I can feel them, I can imagine them but however hard I try I cannot go back to them.
I am here in Bokaro for the summers. And I am talking about being here itself. I wanted to try out lots of things this holiday and have lots of fun as my friends do but from my last year's experience I could say nothing would really happen, instead I let things fall into space.
I have been watching television specifically, the Euros. Spending the evenings working on my fitness and and for the rest I eat, sleep, watch movies. That's how it is. I guess this is how it goes. I start something very emphatically and then everything starts falling apart. I keep collecting the pieces to a point such that I need to find some inspiration, something that keeps me going. (Well, that was some introspection.)
Now let me brief about all that's happened in the months that I didn't write. I went back to college with my recovering leg and started attending my classes. I kept my focus on my fitness for the first few days. Then exams and submissions started nearing and I had to compromise on my exercising routine. Some tremendous hours of brain storming and drafting and composing and coloring and studying. I had finally finished my semester, submitted all my portfolios and appeared for all the exams. Sounds easy? Wasn't really though. I am not doing to write my big inspiring story here to tell you how difficult it was but I'll just say, 'If I can, then you can.' Now looking from my perspective it was difficult but what about looking from that farmer's eyes who lost his crops in rain? At least I had something to feel good about what does he have? I feel every difficult situation in life looks easy if you look at it with some perspective.
I resumed working on my fitness some days into my summer holidays. Wait let me just calculate... a week and a day later to be exact. I wish to continue. Today, out there on the field I saw a child running with a ball at his feet, he kicked it and I looked at his face under the yellow street lights and the dark sky, he was smiling. I want that smile on my face. That freedom this sport provides.
That's all I had. Though, that's not everything. How can it be? Almost three months of my life.
I remember a dialogue from this movie called Hachiko: A dog's story, it goes this way Parker Wilson (A professor of Music) tells his students " I’m a lot older than you but I tend to think that there’s an element of music that cannot be captured. Life cannot be captured. Human heart cannot be captured. The moment of creation itself is fleeting."

Apr 09th, 2016 9:36 PM

"Why do we fall Bruce?" ask's Thomas. Little Bruce stares back at him, scared. He smiles and replies his own question. "So that we can learn to pick ourselves up." ~

Another time lapse since I wrote last. After all these years and finishing school, I was busy setting up a world for myself here and then this year happened to pass by. With all that's been happening, my perspective of life has really changed. I have learnt to live life again, I've learnt the importance of each breath.
I came into college and all of a sudden I stopped writing. Time kept passing by and I kept asking the same question over and over. Why? The answer was because I was happy, because this wasn't the time. Like Santiago from The Alchemist, I was busy doing things, busy gaining more of that unsolved puzzle. Coming and moving across stories untold and yet trying to find them again. I have learnt a lot, I have lots more to learn.
I had promised myself that I would get back on the field better than before. I had promised myself that I wouldn't leave the pitch until my legs could take no more. Last December I had an injury, I rested for a month. I got re-injured twice from then and finally landed with a bent leg to an orthopedic in Kolkata. That was a month ago, 7th of March to be precise. The next three days I saw myself getting admitted to a hospital for the very first time, going through blood tests, X-Rays and an MRI. The tests said I had torn my Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL), my meniscus and also hurt my cartilage. I had a surgery on 10th last month. The operation theater, IV tubes, anesthesia got its toll. I stayed back at the hospital for 11 days at a stretch. Sitting or lying on my bed, struggling. I could not get up, or move on my own. At night when everybody would leave, I would stare out of the only window in my room and amidst darkness I would see simmering lights, far away. They looked like stars, they gave me hope. I was discharged on 17th with two screws in my leg and with that started my physical therapy, knee bending, muscle strengthening. And my battle to be normal again, my battle to walk, climbing stairs and all of these on my own. The doctor wasn't happy though at the last visit. He said that I wasn't achieving proper extension and all these while I fought to bend my leg, for every fucking degree. I traveled back to Cuttack after a long time an here I am writing all about it. I can walk now, climb stairs but still there's more to it. Six months of rigorous exercises and climbing back to full fitness. I have some plans with the ball as well. Lets not lose HOPE, I say to myself and there is nothing at all in this universe that cannot be achieved with true will and spirit. The journey is tough and painful, but the night is darkest just before dawn. I can and I will, for "Where there's life, there's HOPE.
See you on the other side.

Jan 07th, 2016 00:40 AM

Just as the year started I thought of coming up here and writing. Writing about all that had happened back in 2015 and the new year at our doorsteps. That thought had stayed on for some time and had disappeared somewhere amid others. I thought of writing all happy things and of good times that I had been hoping for. But life isn't that simple. Is it?
How would one feel losing one of his dearest friends. Yes, friendships which had no meaning for me some years ago had become one of the greatest assets of my life since the last one year or so. Coming back home to Bokaro and meeting my old school friends and travelling down the memory lane with them. The winters here at Bokaro seemed all too beautiful. The trees, the canopy of bright sunlight all speaking out for themselves. I had expected a pretty calm, relaxing and refreshing vacation this winter. But again, life plays its own game.
Yesterday afternoon, I woke up hearing my mother's panic stricken voice. The words that I would be hearing next were hard to be digested. Arijit has been missing in the waters of the Puri beach for more than two hours.
In the real world I would not have a chance but I would rewind time and go back two days from that afternoon. I opened the messaging app on my phone and typed.
"Will be meeting?"
"Where are you?" He asked.
And the conversation went on. He said he would be leaving next evening. So we had the night before and the morning after. e asked me to come to his house. I refused saying that it gets awkward rather lets go out to some place, sit and talk. "I am having cough, I can't in this weather and tomorrow may not be possible." He said.
"Leave it then." I replied.
The next morning he called me up and we went to the market together. He got some stuff the he needed before going back to college. Next we went to the place we loved the most, the football ground."I wanted to come to play yesterday for one last time before I leave, but couldn't because of the cold."He said. We sat there under the shade chatted about all sorts of things, the past and the present. About football and our social and college lives. He got a call from his home and we left. Before we departed and took separate paths for our quarters, we shook hands and I promised him that I would visit him in Bhubaneshwar soon.
Today morning his death had been confirmed.
While I write this I cannot keep track of the memories that keep shuffling in my head. All the classes we attended, the fun we had, the matches we played together. Only he and I would support Barcelona in our friend group. The football infos I would give him now and then. The last El Clasico. The songs that we sang and the ones he did. His crushes and love that we would laugh at. The last time we went to Bokaro Steel city together. Boards, coaching...the list just goes on. I would watch 'Zindagi na milegi dobara.' and think of the three characters as the three of us from school. Arijit, Arup and me. He's gone now. He's no more. And this, this feeling I have inside of me never doesn't seem to stop, even after I write this diary entry. I cannot believe I am writing this. Hope this is just a bad dream. Hope I wake up in the morning and smile to myself and go back to bed again.

Dec 13th, 2015 10:55 PM

Why doesn't this restlessness go away? What is it that is hurting me from the inside. Yet when I sit and think to myself I feel, I haven't been through that big tragedies. Things happen to people, I haven't had such big problems as that one person sitting on the roadside HOPING to get some food for the day may have. Am I so weak that live has been eating me from the inside with just this?
I do want to create useful things out there, I want to continue doing that makes me myself. Then what is it that is stopping why does this happen to every time. It feels as if I am back to the old days, it's as if something is being repeated over a course of time.
I've nothing to do and nowhere to tell my tale but here and hence I am. I believe that I can keep this under control. I believe I can make something more useful and more meaningful from my life.
I am here at Cuttack writing my end sem exams and waiting to go back home. I need a break. I really do. If I could I would run on the streets right now and shout as loud as I could, I am pressing teeth against teeth and keeping myself calm.
I want inner peace, I want to be happy. I do not know what is happening to me right now.
Huh I shall stop here for now. HOPE to be here soon. The sun hasn't set yet, and it's going to eat a lot of clocks, I presume.

Nov 29th, 2015 01:10 AM

Better late than never...
Four months went by and a semester, I am here knocking the same door again. A lot has happened over these four months. I've grown older, literally.
Yesterday was my birthday and I wish to pen down the happy-sad moments of the day and what better place than this one. Looking down at my last entry I find myself four months late.
Solution? Brief it.
The day I returned back to Cuttack after the vacations I met her again on the train and the sequence of events happened to be like a Bollywood movie. I was thinking of her bent over my phone, I lift my head up and BAM! there she was. Somewhat like that. I couldn't reply to her sudden "Hello"and everything went past me in a blur. That was it.
The semester was all about putting my energies to some place. Stories were where I would put all my emotions and energies to earlier but I've stopped. Maybe because life now wished to accept few of my wishes. I tried to put all my energies for my designs and I love doing what I am at the moment. I hat taken up other projects as well, I've tried learning as much as I could. There have been issues, politics, rivalry but as the year ends it seems to all come down to a full circle.
I've realized that I wish for things that might be difficult to get but I end up doing the same every time.
Coming to the day I just witnessed in the past 24 hours.
Started with Birthday bashing and a dinner treat from my hostel mates and my friends along with wishes from all around and all over. I spent the morning lending my hand for cooking. I and Nilanjana threw a joint party. Thanks to Ujjayant, Diagung and Kunal and Epsita for cooking such a brilliant meal. The food was amazing along with the room, the lights and everything.
I had to cut the after party time and leave for Bali Yatra. I wanted to. We booked uber cabs for free. Meanwhile Arijit called and we chit chatted over all the memories we had made and the ones which I was unaware of. I came to know from him that she is in a relationship now. That came in as quite a surprise. Nevertheless the ride was amazing along with the food that we had.
Taru wished me like four or five times. Now there are people who do care for me but I wait for the ones who don't. I'm really a bad person anyways. She had sent in gifts as well. A pen amongst the rest. I hope to use it, soon.
I have plans for the winter break, only written exams left as of now. HOPE that the days I'm left with would gift me with good memories.
Life has no pause button; once you start, you end right after the end credits.

P.S- I mostly write these entries half asleep. My grammar gets all fucked up.

Jun 28th, 2015 00:46 AM

Stories untold...

Was about to close the browser and go to sleep, but then I clicked on the Writerbabu bookmark and I am here.
So, not much time left, will have to go back soon. My heart wishes to stay but my mind says it won't work that way. Again struggles, submissions, work and hectic life. Nevertheless I will have to go back no matter what.
Yesterday we went for our planned trip to Steel City. Again, no let downs and turned out to be awesome as always. We went for ABCD 2 in 3D, will have to say was quite a movie. The horror house was fun as well. Reliance digital was a chaos, but we had to do something of the sort. Lunch was perfect and the return trip home too. We let the last bus leave and decided to board a train to Chandrapura instead and then board another to return home. Though there were risks but with some luck on our side, everything worked out fine.
This summer break brought back memories of school and with the essence of the wet land it brought her memories back to me. I've missed her a couple of times. I wonder, now when I am not anywhere near her virtually, does she remember me. Arijit told me she inquired about our trip but exploded on hearing my name. I don't know. These moments seem short, yet long lived in my head. As for now I have no intentions of doing anything deliberately. I've set her free. I leave the seconds hand to life.
This holiday makes my love for Bokaro grow even more. I shall be waiting to be back here again. I shall be waiting to sit on this chair and typing continuously again. I would really really miss this place. It's a sweetheart to me. I wonder, how unlike other people out there I fall in love with places. Home doesn't feel home unless I am here. I am single now. Bokaro was my princess and Kolkata my Queen. I wish to remarry Cuttack someday, someday for sure.
HOPE, yes I need lots of it, for a better tomorrow and a wonderful present.

Jun 16th, 2015 00:58 AM

Stumbling Upon wishes...

I write to you again finally that our modem is back on track. Summer vacations never imagined them this way although at the end of every summer break is a heart break. Always has been for me. When I was a kid it used to be leaving my grandparents and my love Kolkata, then it changed to be going to school again and exams and now it is returning to Cuttack. There was a time when I longed to come back, then I wished to stay now that I am here I wish to never go back. But wishes rarely come true and sometimes those wishes can make you what you are. Although I do not but I will have to go back and restart from where I paused. Challenges lie ahead, challenges that need to be conquered.
When I logged on to the to writerbabu's homepage, images flashed before me, how I used to sit before this home page and my stories for hours. Now I have all my time but still I choose to leave. Writerbabu had been my home, when I needed one the most. I wish to be back, but again it's just a wish.
This morning mom had some incident to narrate to me. From her tone I knew something was wrong. She started somewhat like, ' You know yesterday that girl from your class at school Vandana or so... yes Vandana, Zoya and one other. You know her. I am forgetting her name. You know what happened?' I never cared for this girl gang not even now except for her and when I heard my mother mentioning some other girl I knew. My heart stopped and prayed for her to be alright. I just wanted her to be safe. This wasn't forced rather involuntary. I ws relieved to know it was Vandana, who had fallen victim to a man who held her finding her alone and then had to leave with her cellphone alone. I am happy nothing even worse happened. But that is not what I am concerned about. I am concerned about that involuntary movement from inside. Whatever happened between us should never have. I wish..... I wish.
I had a game today, a bad one but not my worse and next I was sitting beside Sarfaraz and thinking of old times. How we used to play, how I loved to and how I longed to go to the ground. The rains, the sun, the cold nothing could stop me then. But I stop myself now and nothing stands in my way. I want to be playing that way again. The ball at my fell and heaven in my mind. I have always loved this game and I want to love it forever. I wish I could go back in time, I wish.
I wrote out my heart today. I always HOPE for the better, I always crave for a better tomorrow, but I had to wish today. I had to wish for my past while I am riding the present.

May 25th, 2015 00:23 AM

Unwanted detours...

I have been home for a week now but I have been away from writing to you or writing anything. Funny how time changes but now it's my mother who asks me to write and urges me to go to play. I am not sure if I have lost it or killed the pain in me that had kept me going. I wanted to write so much this summer, I wanted to workout and play, improve my game but nothing's on to me as if I do not have any interest anymore. I sleep, eat and sit before the computer and that's what I do all day. Maybe I needed this break, maybe I will start late, maybe I wont, I have no idea.
My friends aren't here yet and I am all by my own. Will be leaving for Kolkata on the 26th for a marriage function. HOPE it turns out well.
I wanted to explore myself this summer to my capabilities but of all what I thought most of it seems unlikely. I wanted to travel a bit which is nowhere to happen. Other chances are open though. Lets HOPE for better.
Some people out there say that they miss me. Miss me huh, I have heard that before. I don't want to go deep down that side of my memories now. I shall stop writing here. HOPE to see you soon.

May 09th, 2015 00:29 AM

Thoughts and homecoming...

I am tired, sleepy and somewhat out of my senses but I still am here to write. Life might be taking different directions now.
Theories are over, and after a long and hectic week I am here, left with submissions and sessional exams to go back home. Sometimes it seems the wait to be back might not end anytime soon, sometimes it seems that it should never end and that there should be anticipation.
Now with this break coming up there can be two things that can happen, one that this holiday can turn out awesome and be a holiday to remember other one being not so special. One thing I know for sure that forcing anything will not help. Whatever is to happen will and there is no one and no one who can stop it so better go with the flowing wind.
PIKU was awesome. A day well spent with disappointments here and there but if I look only at the stars, then they were glittering. I opened my heart out, it feels good.
I guess thats all the update I had. HOPING does happen for the better. Maybe it's time to get up and work for the better.

Apr 21th, 2015 01:16 AM

A little ways down the road...

I'm back, pretty soon and quite sleepy. It has been three months since I have been home. At this point of time my brain isn't working as it should but still I shall write.
Talking to people I realized something lately. Don't we die everyday living in our present? Yes our today dies in our tomorrow. There is no getting back today's me tomorrow or five years earlier me again. That part of my life has died and how much I cry or wish to bring it back I can't. I guess this is where HOPE comes into a life. It is this HOPE of a better future and more better days that keeps us going eventually towards our death.
Coming to work. I submitted my conceptual design for the gate, it was my first big design and I am quite happy, though a lot lot more could have been done. Classes are over now. We await the semester exams.
I am still thinking of what all can be done this summer. I HOPE I end up doing something productive yet fun.
Time with friends are going in on average pace. I have gotten really close to some people here. Don't know how far these roads will take me.
Sometimes I remember her and the time I spent. But as I said that part of me is already dead and I don't give a shit about yesterdays m. I love to live in the present. I remember Samuel sir (our games teacher) saying, 'One day when you've grown old and retired you'll probably be sitting on a rocking chair in the balcony of your house with a cup of tea and a newspaper in your hand and you will remember these good old days and sort your friends out and laugh at the the difficult times of now then and say, how foolish I had been then.'
HOPE to come back soon again. and jolt down many more stories from my life. See ya.

Apr 10th, 2015 7:06 PM

A burst of life....

January was last when I wrote. I am late, very late but I am here again. I walways know I will. I always know I will.
I am living life on my own choices and bending it the way I want to, yes life has an external command over me but I still am playing it my way and although I miss my routine life there back in Bokaro, this place has been fun and I have been out on several adventures. I have as well learnt many bitter truths of life and new rules to play the game. The next big stop I can see is the summer break. Don't know what awaits but I really don't want to just sit back at my chair the whole time like I used to. Experiences await.
I have been here in Cuttack after I last visited my parents in January itself. I have made some new friends this semester. Lets not take names. she is sweet and I have been talking to her a lot and we've talked of life, had lunch and spent time together. Within a short period we've become really very good friends. There have been others too, the one who calls me minus six and smiles that witty smile. Ther eare many more and people have been good.
Ujjayant me and Diagung have become best of buddies. Though I can read Ujjayant quite a number of times when he tries to play us. I have to take care of this guy. He can be quite comforting a friend but can turn the opposite as well. Diagung is the only person I can have no complaints with. Our group has been thinking of shifting to some other place next semester.
Coming back to our full gang everything is going good. Some people have bonded up really well some are still to. There are amny things to say so much so that I can even vpen down a book. This is what I want from life. STORIES. I HOPE to find more and more of them. I just wrote a small brief of what has been happening around. Will come back again to write more. I have much more to say.
See ya soon.

Jan 05th, 2015 10:50 PM

Signing off...

Still at home I write to you again. The time here at home brings a different ambiance. It felt so good to be with my old mates. I could have never imagined this day one year back. I so wanted to write something during this time but I couldn't. I feel as if I wasted my time but then things happen when they are meant to be and maybe it's not the time now.
I am leaving on 7th and I've got one more day. I feel so low, I want to stay back. Stay back at the place which I wanted to leave so badly a few months back. I know I will get settled with my life in Cuttack once I go back but I still want the clock to stop ticking. I wish to stay here lifelong. This is how life is. It never gives you what you wish for.
I went to Steel City on 2nd with my friends and my word what a day we had. One that will go down in my memory books. It was me, Mayank, Arijit, Arup and Gurvinder. I found Indrajeet sitting in the bus we boarded as a pleasant surprise. We went down to the Jagannath Temple had fun, clicked photographs and then headed for the zoo. It was fun walking in between the tress and bushes. Searching out animals. And then it started to rain. We halted walked, rain and the rain continued. My favorite part was when we took shelter under the toy train car shed and sat down on the tracks, the rain continued. We returned to sector 4 to have lunch. The lunch was out of the world and that dessert, hot gulabjamun with ice-cream, I can still taste it. The good time I spent with them will be with me forever.
Mayank, Arijit and Rohit have left already, now its my turn. I find it difficult to say goodbye will have to.
Out there in Cuttack, new challenges await. New tasks, new section, new bonding. I HOPE everything turns out good this year. I HOPE I write to you with a smiling face at the end of it.

Jan 1st, 2015 11:09 AM

I was writing a diary entry some days back but could never add it. Hence, I am writing again this new year morning. Things changed in the last few months of 2014 and I HOPE they did so for the better.
I am finally back in town after a long wait of four months. Things have not changed much since I left. The streets, the market, the parks all remain the same, so are my friends.
I broke up with her fully and finally when she texted me on whatsapp on 30th. I feel what I did was right and should have done it earlier. Now I am free and I wipe her out from my life with this last piece I am writing for her. Although it will be difficult but I know it's possible.
I joined my friends yesterday evening and then the club party went on till twelve. We've decided to go out somewhere and have fun.
Nothing more to update for now. I HOPE the coming year has more to offer.

Dec 16th, 2014 10:37 PM

Again time separates me from penning down my life here. Life has changed by leaps and bounds in this one month.
It's December and I remember the time I had spent last year and how magical it had been but that is a distant memory now. My semesters are on and I am leaving for home on 23rd finally. I HOPE to be there soon.
Over the past month I have grown as a person and as an Architect, I now know the importance of time and I also dragged myself to the limit. I might sound foolish but I know I did gain something very valuable in this time.
The hostel has been hell and heaven both at same times. People have stood together for people and people have gone against people as well. Me, Devmalya, Kunal, Mondip, Durjoy, Rishav, Ujjayant have become good friends but I cannot guarantee the period this friendship will continue. People now have seen true faces of girls while there are a handful who can be good friends.
I broke up with her from my side as well, I can leave behind my classes and travel to meet her and she cannot come out for five minutes to even say hello. I knew I had fallen too low but my friends made me realize how low that had been. I deleted all her contacts and will delete the rest as soon as I reach home and she would also be flushed out of my life. My dreams had been far too realistic. I am saying goodbye to her with this passing year. I wish only to focus on my career and my designs and work as hard as I can and keep penning down whenever I can.
I am having a good time here in Cuttack. I HOPE these five years bear sweet fruits, I really want to learn , I want to explore more of life. I will be back again. Till then Adios !

Nov 08th, 2014 6:42 PM

I said I will keep writing and here I am, writing from my hostel room again. I returned back to Cuttack after Diwali. Things had progressed over here and I had to take my time to settle down and I am back again, with loads of work pending, still trying to enjoy life. I miss my parents but I have no other choice, life here can be so mechanical at times. Get up, go to college, eat, sleep, work, repeat. Ya, but life has been super busy and exactly what I wanted, hence I shouldn't complain.
Some things still remain the same since I wrote last time. My roommate still sucks although he is trying to act good. I haven't spoken to her since then except only wishing a happy Diwali, and she replied as if it was very painful to type that ''Uhh too" for my two sentence long message.
Ujjayant now works with us. He is a good company but is here for his ow profit, of course we all are but he accepted it with a slip of tongue. Life's Going good but can be better always.
Many people here have the pictures of their girlfriends as their cellphone wallpapers. I guess I love my mother more than anyone else on this planet and she does so equally. So she's there smiling on my cellphone's background.
HOPING that everything turns out for the better, HOPE I can fight out all the difficulties.

Oct 16th, 2014 12:12 AM

Tit- Bits ~

This wired internet connection kept me away from writing for the last two days. I am a lot better now and I think it would be good to join college as soon as possible or the workload would be too massive.
My grandparents along with my aunt and cousin sister visited us yesterday. It was a good time all together talking to them and spending most of the time with them. I finished up with my story. I think I hurried a lot but anyways.
Dad would be coming tomorrow and I would have to get some college items and then leave. I will be back home again in December after my first semester. It gives me chills. I have no idea how things will work out but one thing, I want to enjoy as much as I can. The times that I leave behind would never come back again. So no regrets, I HOPE everything will be fine and the sun would keep shinning brightly all day long.
She hurt me again. It's like being a stone. She picks me up whenever she likes and throws me back to the ground whenever she likes. I feel cheated like she used me to have fun and left.
HOPE to join college soon, HOPE to have some amazing experiences, Hope to have a good time and HOPE to see you again, soon.

Oct 13th, 2014 10:45 PM

Lazy long afternoons~

I wish I could write like this for the rest of my life. But I know it won't be possible, I will keep dropping in whenever I can. For the time being I an there.
Woke up at nine, had breakfast. Had been chatting with her on whatsapp since the past two days. I spent some time whatsapping and then switched to my laptop. I wan't really happy with the plot of the story that I had been writing yesterday so tried molding it and it worked out well. I drafted a short synopsis and by then it was noon. I had my lunch and began with the antidote I had to today.
Evening started out quite bad. I had to ask Tamal to get a new almirah and that idiot creature has no guts to talk himself. He just calls over and switches over to his mother. I haven't seen a more irritating person in my life. I am even thinking of changing the room the only fact that I am still in it is because of the windows, I love the view it has. But no matter what he hardly opens them. I asked mom to talk to his mother or I would have been pissed off. Crazy, typical and backward people they are. Anyway, leaving them behind, the place they deserve. ( I never hated or said something like this to anyone before but neither have I seen a person like him before.) I started drafting the story. It is going well but I guess will be too long for a short story and too small for a book. I don't know what I will end up with.
Oh I talked to Sanjali and some other people on whatsapp today. It was good talking to her, I have already forgotten yesterday's episode. It was fun.
Many people are travelling tomorrow . I don't know when I will be joining college. HOPEfully soon. HOPE I get on with my story. And where there's life there's HOPE.

Oct 12th, 2014 9:05 PM

Daily News~

Writing for the fourth successive day. Woke up late as usual, had medicines and breakfast. Then as usual lazing, reading the newspaper, surfing the internet ,and continuing with 'I am Malala'. I tried writing a new plot this evening and it's going well till now. Chatted with a few friends on facebook, feels good. Oh! ISL kicked off today at the Salt Lake Stadium, how I wish I was there cheering for Atletico De Kolkata. As I write this entry they already lead 2-0 against Mumbai City.
Hudhud was to hit Orrisa and Andhra Pradesh today, but I hear it didn't have much effect in Cuttack or Bhubaneswar and college might resume from 15th. I am thinking of joining back as soon as possible. I already have so much work pending.
I felt a bit bad today as I was going through some fb posts today. Sanjali had tagged many people for some stupid challenge and I am not in it, not that I want to but it feels bad that she added all of them but not me as if I am someone not to count, I don't value her recognizing me as her good friend but I still feel bad about being left out. In the end I tell myself that I am all on my own and it's me and myself who has my company in this world. I do not value if anybody cares or not. I am what I ought to be. There are so many things to discover in this world and so many things to see and this topic is what I have already experienced. To all the people who might get offended because of this thought process of mine, my middle finger is well on the rise for them.
Phew! that was something, I feel good now. I am ready to join college HOPEfully and ready to take on the world again. I HOPE :)

Oct 11th, 2014 8:17 PM

Recent Memories~sweet and sour

I am here again writing about my day. I woke up late, there was a call from dad that made me. Mom was out to get some fish for the day but what luck she could't find any nearby and had to settle for chicken. She came back and asked me to bush and have my breakfast. I spent the day lazing around, reading newspapers and surfing the internet. I was reading about the Nobel peace prize winners, where I learnt that a girl named Malala, only seventeen from Pakistan was sharing the prize with Kailash Satyarthi from India. Having read her name I remembered a book called 'Í am malala' I had seen on stands, the newspaper also mentioned about it her memoir. I downloaded the e-book and started reading it on my laptop. Malala a girl who stood up for women's education and was apparently shot by the Taliban. She was taken to Birmingham where she was treated and she continues to stay there till date. I loved the book and read the first chapter and continued with it.
The rest of the day was same. I am having a problem with internet here. I cannot check my 3G balance and 2G works slow as hell. Anyways, was reading some old diary entries. Made me remember the past, the sole purpose I write these entries for. I noticed the spell errors I had made but whatever it may be they hold a special place in my life.
Let me talk of college today. I had been very exited like every other fresher. With my parents I traveled to Cuttack and checked in at the Bombay Hotel. The first few days was what we call as getting used to. My parents left after some days. Though I had asked them not to visit me anymore. I was all on my home from then on. Living in a hostel is tough, washing clothes, dishes and keeping the room clean but it is fun as well. The first few days went with the introduction. Meanwhile I made friends with Tamal, my roommate .He is a disgusting stuff by the way and I knew that from day one. Anyways he can be good sometimes. Devmalya from Kolkata is one of the best persons I have mate and his roommate Rohit is also a good guy. As classes commenced we were loaded with work, but I liked doing them. The roof of our hostel is quite a place to hang out. We climb to the top and have a look at the city and chat. The locality is even good. We usually move out in the evening to get our stuffs. We feared of being ragged for the first few days but nothing of the sort happened. The night before Ganesh puja had to give our intro to fourth year and that was all, they laughed for no reasons at all and had a good time. Good that they did, laughing is a good exercise they say. I and Dev visited Bhubanehwar along with Sanjali, Samapika and Suprava. THey took us to a CCD. The next we visited BBSR was when all the hostilities decided to go to a pub, though I danced my heart out but that day was a disaster. Other people in hostel I would like to mention are, Durjoy- a funny, creative awesome character, Rishav- A person with some peronality, well he can act foolish sometimes, Ujjayant- Well it is fun to be around this guy and listen to all sorts of stories and pull his leg, Shayan- Worked with him on a model making project, a good guy but a real madrid fan!, Suvranil- A seriously good guy, Mohun- Fun, Abhishek- funny, he has some stories to tell, Kishore- A guy who can gell up with almost anyone, Mondip- I met him during counselling itself, cool guy, good natured. Kunal- Mondip's roommate and the naughtiest and laziest one in the hostel. He is behind every mischief. Among others are- Kaustav Sadhukhan (The fun stuff of the hostel), Sayan (His roommate), Sikander, Mobashir, Zaryab, Sarfaraz(The quietest of all, oh wait) Diagung- How can one forget him, glued to his cellphone all day, quiet and funky, Swapenedu (Another funny character), Arunabh, RAhul, Suman, Debdatta, Ankit. I think that's all I shouldn't have missed someone.
That's enough for the day. Will take my leave now. HOPE to recover and join college soon. HOPE everything turns out fine.

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