Jugnu's Diary

Jugnu's Diary

Open diary

Bitter sweet

22 years old, Female, India

Diary Entries (250)

Jul 14th, 2018 1:05 PM

It was Saturday morning 6 am.
I woke up to see, it was drizzling.
With the weather so beautiful, I could not hold myself back from walking till the office.
I met a few new people again this Saturday and one person whose vibes match with mine.
Sandeep is his name.

All of us had been for the social work at missionaries of charity.
On the second Saturday of every month I meet these amazing guys ,and we head to the MOC.

At first, we visit an orphanage and help the sisters with some cleaning. There are some extraordinary kids who can't even walk and hold things on their own but know musical keyboard and operate computers. There are the others who need help for everything they do and still the smile on their face is like sunshine. So powerful and strong, like they know they are going to fight odds.
Post the orphanage we visited the home for destitutes. There were many old ladies and some differently abled kids. The ladies had so many stories to tell but yes, most of them were happier than those who have everything in life. There is so much to learn from them.
Alrighty Jugnu I will see ya.
Tada .
Keep smiling.

Jul 10th, 2018 09:15 AM

Hey Jugnu,

How are you doing? All good eh?
I am back again from an amazing trip. But yeah, this time the trip was on a purpose and not random.

I think life is going well. I am happy or to be honest I have learned and I am so addicted to being happy that nothing can make me sad for a long time. I have grown up to be an extremely strong person and I like how I handle situations and be okay.
I have also become a strong believer of you only live once.

I want to travel, eat great food at great places, wear awesome clothes and meet awesome people and then hang out with them and know what forms their opinions about everything.

I am going out for dinner with a guy in the office this weekend, just to friend zone in style :D
He deserves an explanation because he undoubtedly is a very nice guy and he likes me genuinely. But I don't need relationships right now. I am very clear about it.

Well, it is time to get ready and go to the office.

Ciao bro!
Have a great action filled weekday.
Be happy! Yayyyy
Bye



Jun 11th, 2018 10:20 PM

I am happy today and I have not felt so good in a very long time.
My presentation went really well.

I have made a lot of good friends again. Lol, can't contain the extrovert me for long time.

I decide to be happy and that's all that matters.

Jun 10th, 2018 7:31 PM

I think I should get back here often from now.

And 6 months post the new year, life has changed again. I had written about so many things that I am looking for during this year and I am mid way there to realize I should take few things off the list.

I lost love to religion and I lost friends to the tough time. I am not very transparent when it comes to my personal life. Not many know, what happens because I know it doesn't matter. At the end, only I need to deal with the hurdles and sharing with others means reconnecting with old times and missing the good times.

The side effects of the tough time is tougher than the tough time itself.

Anyways, there are also a lot of good things happening. I spend my weekends doing social work for couple of NGO's, the year round trips are planned, I got a very good rating and good hike with a promotion pending in October. I also have a presentation to give tomorrow and during the dry run, it went extremely well.

Learning to be happy, no matter how difficult life gets.

Ciao

Apr 3rd, 2018 10:56 PM

It's time to write another
With love,
The little kid entry.

Jan-09-2017

8:00 am

Location: Dimri, MTK, Bhubaneshwar

It was the first day of my job and we had all received mails regarding the leads we had to report to, and my mail read "You will be reporting to Satish Kumar". I was curious, anxious and equally elated about starting my new journey.

I walked towards the global learning center trying to brush away all that people had spoken about Kalinga. "Be good to your leads, Kalinga is very hectic and tough to clear, you don't get time for anything there" hovered over my head. I entered Dimri and waited for the leads to arrive. There were three leads who came and introduced themselves. I asked who Satish Kumar was and understood he would be coming only the next day.

My little brain was fired with a torrent of questions and I tried to keep myself calm and patient. The next morning, the same three leads walked into the room and just when we had started learning, a comparatively tall man who was almost late by 30mins walked into the room. He read out 20 names including mine. We knew it was Satish Kumar and we walked with him.

The first question he asked was "what's your favorite place in kalinga?". Sun dial a few people replied and there we were, standing at the sun dial for our first stand up. I began noticing the way our lead talked. He smiled in between and asked questions like "what are your hobbies?". When everyone was done introducing, it was his turn. He hadn't talked much until then.

" I joined Mindtree 6 years ago and I was a campus mind like you people. I cleared the training with great difficulty. But, once I got into projects I performed very well and I have been awarded employee of the year for last three years. I am a biker and my fastest record was made recently on nice road, Bangalore." These were his exact words ( I missed writing the speed which he mentioned).

My mind made points that I could learn from him. To be a lead doesn't mean trying to be superior to others, it means to be among the group but to stand out in various ways. This was the first quality to learn from him. Second, he was trying to make all the kids comfortable and he was being very friendly. This would for sure make the environment healthy and productive. Third, I knew I wouldn't have to worry about anything but to work hard at that point of time.

Days passed by and the chivalrous man had his ways to teach and make everyone learn. The base camp was soon coming to an end and Satish would not remain my lead post that. Also, he had sent out his wedding invite to all of us and we were very happy about the news ( of course a few who were crushing on him weren't 😂). A lot of us felt like children and not to be surprised I felt like a ten year old back to school. He guided everyone and more importantly he motivated all of us. The fourth thing to learn from him was to understand that humans work happily and better under motivated environment than under pressure. If you want to get things done, speak well and motivate instead of ordering and making use of the power you have.

When the base camp was over, he called all the 20 people to ask if we were interested in any specific technology before the next phase started. Many people had certifications in few technologies and asked if they can be a part of it. I was standing there wondering what to say, because I was never a technical person. My head spills out more poetry than code and anything that isn't creative enough never interested me. I had only started to learn Web technology and I wanted to continue learning the same. I am sure, I will not be put in with others who had mastered the web. But for once, I wanted to ask if there is a chance and I did. I finally spoke " I haven't done any certifications and don't have too much knowledge but I think web technology is something I could learn all night and not feel tired". He said " I think only 20 people get to be in the web and the list is almost finalized, I will try."

On the same evening I started receiving mails saying that my name is being considered instead of some guy for web technology. I was never so happy and thankful to anyone. I sent out a big thank you mail to Satish. Seriously! I still can't thank him enough, because otherwise I wouldn't be happy for these two years.

I can still write too much. But, to not make it beyond lengthy I think I should stop here.

It was his last day at Mindtree on Friday and today he invited us to the Hangouts cafe to meet up. It is always a pleasure to talk to him. I look up to him in case anything happens at work and not just a lead, for an amazing person that he is, he will be missed. I should confess here that this see ya meet up did pull the emotional strings because undoubtedly there were more people like him, IT would be a better place to be.

Adios :)




Mar 22th, 2018 10:58 PM

Yet another time, I am defeated by the test of time.

I wish myself enough strength to deal with this.

I still don't ask "why me"?

I know it happened because someone else's prayers were stronger than mine. Someone wanted this to not happen, may be more than I wanted it to happen.

So thank you the super powerful universe, to have pulled me down to depths, I find it difficult to breathe. I try to reach out to the sunshine but, oh you took my Sunshine away. Welcome me back to where I got up from. Welcome me back to never ending nights full of tears.

Feb 2nd, 2018 8:24 PM

Hi Jugnu!

"Are you still in office"? I asked with my heart beating in anticipation.
" Yes, " he said and I was happy I could meet Rohit for one last time before he left.

It hasn't been long since I met him but, for some people, it is easy to make a difference in others life. So did he.

I am accustomed to walking back to the exit gate with him and wanted to do it for the last time. As I walked beside him, there was silence. These were probably the only two minutes of silence when I am with him. Otherwise, I am always the babbling little kid. Oh, you know right? I like being with people who I can be a child with.

I get to meet a lot of people and since I am an extrovert I like interacting with new people all the time. But at some point in time, you will want to be with people who are similar to you in many aspects and have endless conversations. Rohit is one such guy. True, kind, honest, sensitive to others feelings, and most importantly someone I can be me with. I haven't got really close to many guys after school mainly because I did not find anyone amazing like the guys in school and then Rohit happened. He is someone I can approach any time and talk about anything on the Earth without the fear of being judged. When I talk to someone I usually don't talk about how I think or how I feel but, conversation with him is mostly about emptying my brain and heart.
Alright! enough said about all this.

I am happy for you Rohit. In fact, I am very happy. I wish you all the best for your new beginning. I know you will succeed. After all, good things happen to good people and you my friend are the best. You will be missed.

With love,
The little kid.

Dec 31th, 2017 10:31 PM

Hi Jugnu!

I am here to write the year updates. Writing daily updates has now changed to writing year updates. Strange, isn't it?

2017 has been quite good to me. A lot of things happened this year.
My journey to new city started on Jan 8. I was too excited because finally, I was going to be independent. I had heard how difficult the training at Bhubaneshwar would be and I was scared. I wanted to focus and do my best, and I was determined to make it up for all the things that I thought I would in 4 years and did not. These three months were the best. I learned, fell, got up, found love and found freedom. I met with some good people and understood how IT works.
I flew back to Bangalore in April and the month was full of ups and downs.He managed to pull me up. We both love food and we explored popular areas and popular food outlets in Bangalore.

I had been to Pondicherry in June, and it was the most memorable trip. It is on this trip that I realized what means the most to me. I visited a Church there and prayed. I am not a religious person but, I will go to the place again if everything works fine.

August was my birthday month. I got a lot of gifts and most importantly someone special made it worth remembering. Dada, Ananta, Shashank and I had been out for dinner, and dada had sketched my portrait. That was a nice gesture.
I met with Ayushi and Nidhi among my writer friends, and I am waiting to meet ditto. It feels so good that we are all in the same city.
In September I had been on a trip to Wayanad, and the place is heaven on earth.
The year was full of outings, new friends, get-togethers, parties, reunions, trekking, food, career and keeping me happy.

Now I have set new goals, and I have decided to shop less this year. I will work harder in Jan and Feb at the office. I will prepare well for the exam and leave this place by the end of next year. It requires a lot of hard work, and I will put in the efforts to achieve what I want to. I see a lot of struggle coming my way, especially in March because we will be telling at his home about us and then mine. We want to make this work, and we will leave no stone unturned because now my happiness lies in being with him. My soul likes the way he treats me. He will leave for Germany next year. I want to walk with him and watch him as he succeeds.

Also, I want to travel to Coorg, Chikmagalur, and Rajasthan in the coming year

Dec 11th, 2016 10:24 PM

Guy from Australia.
His only sister settled in the USA.
His parents are in Pune.

He is a perfect match in terms of property, culture and everything.
See if you want to consider and get married.

What do you think i did jugnu?

I choose my career in making over a successful guy.

To be independent is more important to me.

Good night.

Dec 06th, 2016 8:56 PM

Hey!

I read my last entry and i was wondering why i was not fine?:D
Lol it happens sometimes. You are not fine for no reason.

I had prepared paneer biriyani today and it was finger licking good.

All is well. Badmi had come home on Saturday and we had great time.
Everyone around me is noticing that i have started talking less.
Well! i have become an observer and a listener now.


okay now, bye :)

Nov 22th, 2016 00:06 AM

Hi!

You guessed it right, i am not feeling great after many days today.

Listen, it's always okay to give all you have and to expect nothing in return. But wait! Expecting nothing in return is not very easy. We don't always intend to expect you see. Sometimes, you expect little things. Like you want to mean something to the person who means the world to you. When you share your thoughts, your life and every happy moment with someone, a part of you wants to know more about that person, a part of you that cares beyond limits wants to be cared and loved in turn.

Why am i deviating?
Because i don't want to talk about what is worrying me. You know me right? I dislike sharing pain and may be that's why i am here.


Anyway, good night :)

Nov 06th, 2016 01:18 AM

Hi Jugnu!
Well kaustu reminded me of you. Otherwise you know it has been long since i last talked with you.

My life is going great. I can't ask for more.

Well i should tell you about another strange incident that happened day before yesterday.
My friends and i meet up at a coffee bar almost every evening. The same happened day before yesterday but only Gouri and i had been there. We ordered the same drink that we usually do. It has caramel and you know right? I can drink caramel instead of water :p Well! We also ordered sandwiches and in an hour we left that place. The moment i reached back home, i started feeling very drowsy. I slept off on the bedroom floor. Mom was shocked. I was behaving weirdly. I got up after 10 minutes and i felt very high. I wasn't able to have a control on my behavior. I thought something was wrong with me. After sometime Gouri called up and asked if i was feeling drowsy and high too. It was now obvious, that someone had mixed something in our drink.
My mom asked me for so many times, if something was wrong. I dint tell anything at home.
I was supposed to go and complain the next at the coffee bar but i dint find time. But this was unexpected. We are sure it was done on purpose.

Chalo going to sleep now.
It was nice talking to you jugnu.

Good night.

Oct 12th, 2016 9:44 PM

Jugnu pack your bags :p

We are going .
Yippppiiee.
Waiting for this week to end.

Oct 11th, 2016 00:20 AM

People come. People leave. People change.

I just need to accept it and i am sure i will be happier than ever if i do.

Oct 07th, 2016 10:41 PM

Dandiya for 3 hours.
I wish i dint have to come back :D

Oct 04th, 2016 4:44 PM

The same rain but, different feelings. The same sound but different thoughts. It's just the matter of time and everything changes. Your thoughts, your priorities and the way you see little things in life.

The thunderstorm calls you loud, the heavy droplets of rain want to drench you in mediocrity and suddenly you say
"Darling!! you have enormous power,what are you worrying about? You have survived the sun and you will survive this as well. You were not born to be like any other because you have strength to throw yourself off a cliff and still survive. Not many can do that. If you did, it only means you are not born just to be like any other. You are unstoppable if only you learn how to channelize all the power you have in one fixed direction. You have wasted it on things that don't yield anything and that's why, you do not have anything."

For now, self motivation has no definite time because it is all over you.

Oct 3rd, 2016 10:25 PM

Entering into 20's

I feel the changes already. Life is so different when you get out of college. Your mistakes are no more forgiven, you are included in all major family decisions and since you make valid points most decisions are according to your will. You can't be ignorant. You have responsibilities and the journey towards being independent starts now for many people of my age.

If you want comforts,you have to earn for yourself.

The race doesn't end at all. You feel lost because you now are a part of big organisations where lakhs of people like you work. Competition is never ending and for people like me with big aims, little is never enough. To reach big, you need to start small. Many of your friends would have started big already and you are only anxious thinking about where you want to reach and how long is it gonna take. There's pressure building up because little is never enough for you.

I will succeed, not immediately but definitely :)

ciao.

Oct 2nd, 2016 01:46 AM

Tears trickled down her cheek. Why wouldn't they?
Everything she liked was now out of stock and what could be more painful. :p

#confession of a shopaholic.

All the neckpieces and set of finger rings i had chosen went out of stock.

A pair of new white sneakers.
3 new shades of matte lipsticks from NYX.
An olive green jumpsuit from f21.
A pair of wedges with fringes and a pair of tie up flats.
A pair of heeled boots from inch5.
A bodycon dress and an A line dress.
An ombre top.
A boyfriend jeans.
A denim shirt from Levi's.
A black cropped trouser from MandS.

Okay. These are still on the list and should choose. Such a hectic schedule you see :D

I should see you off now. Tada


Sep 30th, 2016 10:19 PM

Hi Jugnu

How's you doing?
I have had a great day just like any other :p I don't know how many new people i am talking with and i am losing the count. I have been blessed with the most amazing people in the world and i can't thank god enough for that. They tolerate the absolutely crazy me and they are all just a call away. I can talk to them about anything and everything in the world and they will never get bored. Ah!! may be that is why i don't find a need to express myself here because i have living creatures who i can laugh and be happy with and i have a shoulder to cry upon every time when i feel weak.

I can watch M.S.DHONI everyday and i am sure i will not get bored because these are the kind of movies i love watching. The kind of movies that give goosebumps and add fuel to the fire that burns within day and night. Respect to this man. By the way how can i miss writing about Sushant Singh Rajput. Damn!! his smile is worth drooling over. He looks so handsome.

It has been raining since 15 days and all i miss right now are those long drives and sudden road trips. We used to travel to Amboli ghat just to eat maggie. Well!! when everyone else smoked i often sat there watching the changing shades of the sky. Loud music, my absolute stupidity and you know what was the best part? Guy friends :) I could be irresponsible and it felt way to safe so i did tease quite a few guys back when they teased me because i knew there was someone to handle the consequences. Trust me when i tell this, Goa is heaven. Yes of course i hate the sun but mornings and nights are wooowwwww. It had become our second home and i miss Goa more than anything. Those narrow streets flooded with foreigners who are relaxed forever,the smell of the sea, those places with great ambience, those calm beaches, the beautiful sunset, the frequently kissing waves, the water sports and the perfect kind of friends. Damn!! i miss those people and i can't explain how much.

I met Rishabh also today. I have become this shopping friend to many people and they drag me along to choose for them. He has remained the same very innocent guy that he was back in school.

Chalo goodnight.

There is no midnight writing today because nothing flashed across my mind and instead i thought i will i write about what i miss the most.




Sep 29th, 2016 11:59 PM

Also jugnu
I am really worried about bhai now. I did not hear from him and this hasn't happened before. During this time, i just realized he is really really important to me and he means a lot. After all, there aren't too many people i keep worrying about right? He makes me overcome my habit of staying detached. Yeah right!! How can somebody not be attached to a guy like him.
Anyway, i hope he is doing good and i hope everything is fine like wine.

Tada

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