Messed Up Life
18 years old, Female, delhi
sometimes i feel lyk watevr happn wid me or evrythng tat m of disturbd nw or suffrng alot z al becz of me... i was d only culprit i guess...
acptng ur mistake z gud i knw bt m i tat bad... :-(
evry1 cmit mistkes in der lyf n if i did so thn wats wrng... ! m nt god ! neithr u al r , bt i thnk in my case evry1 has becme god n declrd me culprit ! der z a thng cal trust tat one shud hve atleast wen u cal sme1 as friend !
bt no ! wen it cme to der case i had frgve dem many times widout evn demandng ny xplaintn !
let it b! if dey dnt care about u n let dem b! jst rembr u r a princes ... fel lyk princes gal! hw mch care u r owng to u ? tell! jst lav urslf !! :-)
no 1 wil entrtain u in ur lyf ! dnt find uq hapines in othr ! find ur hapines wid a spcl swet awesme persn ?
arey .... dnt get amazd !!! its u :-) princes :-) !
b hapie it z d bst way to make othr jealous :-P ! sounds grt :-)
i jst lav me nw :-) ......
Its being long nw ! i didnt write frm many mnths! many thngs hve changd til nw... bt its lyf it need to b keep goin ... i knw we shud aprciate wat we hve wid us... bt...
d smile behnd d yelng cryng n torn out heart z al i hve! to wat xtnd i wil tk it , wat i want frm my lyf ... shud i repnd on my past !
no ... nt at al! wat m i lukng fr nw ! i thnk i knw its a FRIEND ! bt i m hvng frnds thn y... wat xctly i want ! wid whch felng m goin thrw ... i mis my best frnd ! bt yupe it z also true tat we cnt b frnds lyk b4 evr in lyf! so no need fr al dis! just let go...
or i wud rather say wanna to be puzzled!!!
how can i be so confused???
did i knw me!!!!
m i doing right!!!
m i again hurting someone????
am i again becoming the reason for someones tear!!!!
wat to do!!!!!
m i again lying to me......is tat ol i m upto or thinking of!!!!
wat is making me upset????
y m not normal now!!!
wat happen to me xactly!!!
did i know the answer or wanna to unaware of tat!!!!
m i really unaware of all!!!!!
wat should i conclude with dis.......
its being long now !!!!
life has again taken out twist and turn and taught me new lesson to learn !!!! but one thing that i got about me is how weak i m....sometime i fell like i m pathetic !!!! just because i need something how i can let things go wrong with me...
when i know that things are not gud for me thn also i do it :-(
how can i be so dumb????? chiiiii.....
dont know anything.....
hope i will get the answer soon
what to do now.... m losing my patience now !!!! things are quite pathetic now!!! give me the will god... give me the strength so that i can came from it !!!! u have helped me always by giving me the strength to deal with the worst situation !!! please give me today also that strength so that i can cope up with this...relax...calm down...things are under controlled now...everything is fine...the strom inside your heart has stopped now...feel relived now...
you are gods best child...you know dis na...n u r super gal also!!!
god will make you strong to such an xtend that no one will dare to hurt u at all!!! smile swti life is not that complicated !! its not that if things are not in your favour now it would not be later .... good is waiting for you!!!!
u r spcl for u!!! remember this always!!! u r precious for u.....
love urself to that extend that u evn dont need anyone for you!!!!
i m really getting impatient now!!! wanna to cry hard....but!!! the life take out turn.... few hour back i was flying like a butterfly but how can take fight with my destiny!!!! i think i will always be an unlucky heir.... leave this now!!! better get indulge in yourself only because this would be apt for me!!! m not that blessed enuf!!! accept it now and smile now you are not meant for anything!!! do not create any nuisance now and stop all dis.... u r really dumb gal!!! till now you didn't get anything and start moving on that track again .... how could you sometime i feel i give invitation to my problem of my own!!! disgusting!!!! pathetic....leaveit now u know all so please make things clear now!!!!!
as i had mentioned earlier that something is there that is not letting me in peace!!!now the question is what is thst????
for that i need to turn the pages the pages of my life back!!!!a strange fear arose in me when i thought for that....should i really need to look back or i m already in past only!!!does that mean i m still in my fantasy world....but i had accepted all!!! then why i m not moving ahead ??? why my feets get trembled when i take my step ahead!!!today with the blessing of almighty i again got the chance to have a good friend of mine but if my fortune would let me with him!! as i am an unlucky heir in terms of relations wether it has been in any aspect so m quite afraid now!!!!
don't wanna to deal with that pathetic situation again!!! no .... not again...feeling to cry!!!
today i don't know why m feeling as if this day is going to shed alot of tears from my eyes!!!!
huhhh!!!! finally i had started writing again...... i had promised myself that i will not write again, not because i don't like this but for the sake that i don't want to add any further bad memories in my book!!!!!
but as usual wat u think never happened!!!! why the hell i am writing now????? i think i am quite happy now....i think....i don't know !!! stop be-fooling yourself gal!!! but why i am not happy now?????
things are quite in peace now!!! but maybe the traces of my past would not let me in peace!!!! so finally m goin to write now!!!
let see how much i get to know me further........
till now something is there that is not letting me in peace
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