Maybe I'm a fool and sometimes my behavior and actions are very strange but that's me and I see no reason to represent another person.
19 years old, Male, Zameen Par Hu
Get yourself together.
Consider, whats important to you!
Guess, a cage can make anyone paranoid.
2017 was a funny business.
Be stubborn in vision but flexible in approach.
Terror in Resonance completed in 2 days.
But what should I tell you?
Planning to write to you again.
Sorry to not keep you updated.
There's no point either..
Heya Diary! I am not going to talk to you because you are not a person standing in front of me to whom i will talk but yeah if you refer to subject English then it will tell you to talk to diary ah well i dont know what i am typing so just ignore.
I dont listen to Lady Gaga but my pc has its songs so yeah i just randomly turned it on. I've become crazy today. Last night, i burst out out of nowhere. I woke at least 4-5 times in the night and woke up early fresh and that does not even make sense! I woke up fresh! Wide awake realizing that the morning is pleasant and a unnatural excitement to drive my vehicle helmet less on the roads of Nagpur. One thing i want to praise about Nagpur is its roadways. Especially west Nagpur, its none less than a scenery.
I have nothing else to say. I'm just sad. I didnt go anywhere in new year. I dont have resolutions nor the will to work somethings out plus all these shitty people are trying to scare away from me. Oh no they are there just seems that they're leaving. I get bored in my house. I joined tuition classes for BCOM just because pops said so..well didnt mind that though it will just polish my basics. I dont have friends in my tuition. Yeah Yeah all my mistake but I am selective. I and only I among all my friends joined a tuition and its okay but i guess i am doing in my tuition..scoring good, being the fastest student and i am not boasting myself. I am able to do it because i have studied it in Executive so its natural. Well i met the pet dog of the founder of our tuition. His name is BooZoo! I just called him once and we are friends now! Well i am not selective while befriending dogs though.
I went shopping with my friend and i think my taste got better. I choose something that he was just totally unwilling to buy something else. It has happened quite a few times and with not only person. Who cares though. I am not using that taste to buy clothes for myself so basically whatever i wrote in the above three lines turns out to be a lie, is it? Lol.
Ah you suck diary. Even i dont re read you. If you were a person i am sure we would have spat over each other.
I'm losing my mind.
I was sure that I wouldn't come back to you
Because I had people to share things but only few.
All those people, all those wonderful moments.
I wanted them to be remembered yet you weren't my judgement.
I don't know why i'm here
But there's some loneliness that I fear
I wonder if you were my only friend?
Give me time, let me comprehend.
I know we were together before she came
She was my best friend, a wonder and not anything lame
I don't know what to do or where to go
I miss her yet I just came to you
But I wonder if you'll help because I left you too..
Somehow I knew this day would come
Somehow even you knew that I'll come back
If only i could complete it. I am unable to express my thoughts but I'm sure something is getting me closer to writing. Writing something sad and painful and it will be for long term. I don't have a very good vocabulary and maybe it hinders my expressions..I'm not very good at expressing rather it turns out to be very annoying for the other person so I avoid it. I shouldn't avoid it I know but to not avoid it I also need someone who would listen to me and let me listen to them. I might still have such people yet I am here writing this to you diary. Something must be missing, a little bit something..fill this gap. I don't even know who am I saying this to. Its been so long since I felt like this. It has not been a very good 2017 for me. Its mostly been bad and it will continue to do so. You remember diary how i used to be funny even alone? Even my entries were funny but nowadays I don't even know what to speak. I don't study, I don't know what to speak. Sensibly speaking, which living creature would want to hang around with a boring person like me? I have no right to crib when I dont have a single reason to attract people.
I crib, I feel, I expect.
This will eat all the good in me in a few days.
I am pissed of myself and few bastards as well.
If you know something will lead you to failure then just stop it right there but humans were born foolish.
I called Kajal and she was weird for the substantial part of the call.
"You have to clear Group 1 even if i fail to" she said to my surprise.
All i wish for is just, pass us.
The North Pole is 36 degrees more hotter than it should be now.
Good evening Dear Diary.
Obviously as some would expect there would be no two dear in the start of the diary and nor i am saying that because someone is going to read this entry. I just opened diary outta nowhere. I wasnt able to study and there was none to talk so i thought about writing to you. It doesnt seem such a bad idea to me :v
So technically speaking diary writing is like talking to some person but after all you are a diary and i cannot ask you "Hey! how you are you?" As if i would get some answer in return so i'll drop the idea. Maybe i shouldnt have asked only instead of writing so much but then diary aage kaise badte -.- well it seems the Queen of the diary section Miss Ayushi Dubey also lost interest in writing diaries. Due to a bug her diary is invisible and admin wont fix it not because of an old grudge against Ayushi but he wont fix it. FIX IT MAN! Whatcha waitin for?! Did i scream? Its not like you are gonna read this *the laughing emoticon* plus this diary does not have audio -.-
You know what? I should have continued writing to you because earlier people used to open my diary suo motu (go find its meaning! Again a laughing emoticon!!) I feel like i am gonna be tagged geek for this again. An never mind (Yeah my takiyakalam Ayushi, in case you read this)
Two hours ago, Bhaiya dressed up neat and took out the car and went to a restaurant to meet his friends who came to Nagpur plus he took a leave from Bank. I could just imagine a tragic scene of me wherein i am in the same situation and taking out the brand new car just to meet my friends and gharwale, mere dost and Angelina are saying "Basssss show off karna hai" oh! Hi Angelina :P
Speaking of her now, she has gone to Lucknow because her best friend had invited her to the city for a wedding so both of them went there for about an week and she is still there. Maybe she will be returning in a day or two. She kept me sending photos idhar udhar ke. Well i accept that she is my friend and not just friend she is my very very good friend but i'll never say ke tuney Lucknow dekh liya na toh mera bhi tour hogaya reee. Do not make faces people. She is eating lots of foods plus as she said uski aankho ko kuch prapt ho raha hai by seeing hot guys in the city. Idk what that kuch is though..i forgot the word -.- and again in case if you are reading this we have some 76k messages in our inbox. Thankfully humanity has evolved so much otherwise if we wanted to talk and we used a Pigeon he would be dead by now :x
Did anyone mention about Inked Wrists? Probably not because queen does not write now , heheehhaha! Inked Wrist is doing good. The directors of the page are very active since the day Shweta joined it. I suggested her to join the page and also get added to the chat group of Watsapp and then there were five girls in the group and only two boys and usme se bhi hard spelling wale bhaiya gayab rehete hai so they four because unme se ek badi di hai jise sab chote bolte hai and vo gayab nahi rehete...umm but mere lete bhi nahi so yeah they four keeps pulling my leg and trust me (incase a stranger is reading this) getting teased by women is not enjoyable. I dont enjoy it but it doesnt depressed me either *farts* idk where did this came from.
Lets talk about a girl named Shweta, a girl who used to be depressed. A girl who overcome mountains of tears and loneliness. The one who conquered herself and i cannot think of anymore stuffs because mummy called for dinner. But do you know diary what has she gone through and what she had become now?
She is happy finally. I know love shattered her once. She is still emotionally weak but as of now she has those things, those elements that will keep encouraging her to move forward and keep her happy. She went to an event today organised by ttt and i hope she meets the founder of ttt. I also talked to Shweta's dad who seems kind enough.
Well thats it for now! I gotta have lunch. I am already very late!
Hasta La Vista!
Rest in peace the grandpa across the neighborhood. I don't even know your name but i've come to your house so many times. When i was a child i had no Cartoon channels in my tv and hence you were the one who let me watch it in your house. I saw how Dadi was crying and how your six daughters had rushed to see you for one last time. I didnt know about this either. It was when i had come back from my exam i came to know about you. As the time passed, i grew bit by bit and not wanting to see television anymore and thus i visited you less too. I was a child who was self fish and immature. You were a very kind and gentle human. You will be missed grandpa.
I have nothing else to say Diary. I think I'm still self fish. Coming to you when I am sad.
For no reason, i visited you today.
Good Morning and its 25th September.
I have to agree that time is the fastest.
Its been 5 days since my birthday.
2 days since Shreyas's birthday and
1 day since Rumaisha's birthday and well i couldn't even wish her because i cannot call her anytime i want and i was not able to meet her either.
Sheesh i am so blank. I am thinking what to write about. One thing i'd tell is Rumaisha's life is fucked up. She is married and her marriage ain't working and that is obvious. Itne jaldi shaadi karake heroism nahi dikha diya kisene -.- ummm..and and..lets talk about me :v
so lets first talk about my birthday. I cut two cakes one at my tuition and one at Empress Mall. Kajal's bhabhi made the cake and it was just so delicious! Bhabhi is professionally trained and knows how to make cake of any flavour and of any theme.
Look i seriously i have nothing to talk about! So i am going to just burst out the thoughts in here that are tormenting my mind right now.
Tell me girls if this is right?
In a relationship with a women there is a rule and it the most significant one. There is no perfect men. Even the best can make mistakes. They can not cope up and may fail. For a man the most difficult moments is to hear from a woman that 'You Failed' In this situation, most men make the mistake. They leave, leaving the opportunity for the others to win it. They try survive and torture themselves by their defeat. Justifying themselves that they will find another and suffer alone. You have to know that you cannot always win! One needs courage to fight back and true courage is not associated with invincibility and victory. Courage is a complete vulnerability. The ability to stand up after the defeat and try again. Women love to say no. For them it is a method of selecting men. Vanquish those who do not give up. Those who are defeated, try again! Anyone who can go to the end, always has a chance to hear "Yes" so conquer the women.
The winners are in the fight.
Time goes on.
You live, you communicate with someone while constantly doing something but suddenly something happens and immediately...endless possibilities of infinite sadness.
Say this! Let your ears hear your voice.
"They find someone else and bang!- You're alone"
This ain't a diary of a loner. Its the diary of the midnight and i am so sleepy..
And yes of course thank you Angelina for taking out time and writing your auntie stuff :P i kinda miss you but lets face it.
There are people who get into mood by eating Bhel.
Long story but not my story!
Okay this diary entry was expected to come 23 hours and some minutes before but the time has brought me to such a place and position where i don't know what the time is and maine shayad kuch ulta pulta likh diya -.-
A many many happy returns of the day to the darlingest Angelina! You turned 20 which means officially out of the teen category. I'm literally telling you that this year has been lightening fast and your hair are the proof for it. The highlight in your hair is still intact! XD i hope you enjoyed your day and jitne maine photos dekhe hai and gosh itne saare gifts! Mujhe gift me sirf raat ko mere favourite sabzi milti hai -.- and this year i have nothing to gift you, not even a poem. Maine bahot dino se tere sath jhagda nahi kiya isko he gift maanle :P
Secondly, its also the birthday of my favourite and one of the most beautiful teacher i have ever met amd that is Neeraja Ma'am. I went to her house in the evening and i met Riya too (her daughter who looks up to me and idk why or maybe because i watch anime and she does too and then she loves my talk and let me tell you that she is in 4th or 5th standard only!) it was an on spot decision to visit her house so we went there in our usual tuition outfit with tired faces. Plus, Neeraja Ma'am looked sexy! Maine ye ma'am ko bola toh kaam keechne lage -.-' and she doesnt mind anything! She is very open minded and truly a great personality.
Its time to sleep and i have to post it before 12th Sep goes off. Happy Birthday to both of you.
But Angelina ke liye chotasa kuch toh banta hai.
"Harr Pal Tujhe Yaad karta hu
Tere he fariyad karta hu
Kush raho tum hamesha
Yehi mai dua karta hu"
Iske aage tum sojau
Aur hume bhi sone do
Iske mai maang karta hu! :P
Good night Folks!
Will write about Sunday soon.
So much studies still short of hard work. So much of somethings and still short of desired results. I am not even sure if i am passing the second group. They say i have time but i dont even have the conceptual clarity about those subject. I am not studying the way i planned it to! And it feels bad when i know that i am capable of doing that! Neeraja ma'am keeps saying that i have the potential to pass both the groups at once the way i am studying even passing a single group is becoming difficult.
What the fuck is wrong? Why the hell time is flying? Its 6th September! 6 days have gone since this month begun.
I am suffering.
Own a diary. Keep note of what is going on in your life. It would be amazing to look at it few years down the line. Or, you can have a diary of your imagination. A life you want to live. Note down what your character will be doing each day. Live a different life. You can keep it personal. Create one now. You'll love this concept. Login to create new.