A typical day in my life (currently) starts at 8 in the morning when I wake up to get ready for my college, I go straight into the bathroom, get ready, come out to have breakfast on the dining table and boom! A round of questions is shot towards me.
“Do you have someone in your life?”
“When are you gonna get married, beta?”
“You are 28 now, you know that?”
“Neetu massi suggested a well settled Punjabi boy. Do I talk to his family?”
“Do you like some fellow professor in your college?”
I’m Nitika Khanna, and I am a college professor, I am 28 years old and I am NOT married. (My name is Khan much?)
“Maa, stop it now! I don’t want to get married now and I don’t have anyone in my life. When I do, you’ll get to know”
“Tussi vekh rahe ho ehnu, ki kehndi payee hai.. Vyaah nahi karegi te ki karegi eh”
Mother complains to father in Punjabi and he who, as usual, is busy with his newspaper and cigarette, seldom cares to respond.
As I step out of my floor and walk down the stairs, I get my (very clever) neighbour who always is curious to enquire about when I’m getting married.
“Niti, kitthe jaa rahi hai”
“Ji bhabhi, as usual, college.. jaha roz jaati hu”
“Good news kab sunaayegi??”
“Abhi promotion nahi millega bhabhi”
I come with stupid replies to not answer her question and somehow stop any further questions from her side.
Though my parents ARE supportive yet they sometimes get influenced by what others say about their still un-wed daughter who has crossed the ‘marriageable’ age. I have relatives who have their own assumptions for me not getting married. Some think my weight is the problem for not getting married and thus, they suggest me to work out/join gym/go to park/practice yoga. Others think my not-so-fair complexion is the reason why I’m not getting any marriage offers. And as, in our country, if you’re not fair, you can never get married to “good” guy, they suggest me to apply uptan and chandan and besan and other such things.
The line was crossed when I happened to go to my cousin’s wedding, old and young, all aunties together bombarded me with questions and suggestions. They asked me if I’m interested to marry at all or whether I’m interested in women! They also enquired if I have a ‘boyfiraand’ and am planning to marry him in near future. They also went on to suggest me to have some puja and also advised my mother to consult an astrologer and I wasn’t shocked when my mother did the same! She took me to a pandit who said I suffered from pitra dosh and need to get done some puja before the end of this year so that I can get married else it wouldn’t be possible at all!
The simple thing they all don’t understand for me not getting married right now it that I DON’T want to. Isn’t that enough of a reason? I want to concentrate on my career and I’ll marry if and when I get the right guy for me. I’m all focused on my career and am enjoying my single status right now and will continue to do so till the time I want to.
In this country since everything about women ( .. oh I’m sorry UNmarried women; others are just ignored) is paid attention to, I wonder if unmarried women will ever be able to live peaceful life. And marriage is not only about women, but also men. So are men too bothered the same way or are they free to marry whenever the fuck they want to?
Given the already decreasing sex ratio of our country, it is men (and their relatives!) who should be worried about not getting married rather than women, wonder why is it the other way round!
*INSPIRED, not copied*