A suicide

Everything was like it should be. Today it’s like today, yesterday it was like yesterday, and a million years ago things were like a million years ago.
Yet when every time, time is like that time, there are certain stillnesses in that time, certain differences. Maybe not everyone thinks so but then not everyone stops to notice such things.
But whatever the case was, that day was like that day only, like it should be, the dust on the ground and the footprints imprinted on it was like every day, the half torn, half chipped off poster ads on the lamp posts were telling the story of a destroyed civilization, the light that was emanating from the far away street light seemed to a myopic like me, to be a golden explosion, like always. The fans slowly rotating hanging from the ceilings as seen from an empty street looked as sad and unhappy as always, cars moving away and towards me were just aimlessly moving like always and the half constructed building next to me was looking as beautiful as any half constructed building looks like when compared to a constructed one.
All this was like it should be today, but still this today , with all its peculiarities, which should have been like today only reminded me of a million old yesterdays.
I don’t know why, but looked at with a certain perspective, this today and all the things in it, is boring monotonous and ugly, the only difference is the nature of boring, monotonous and ugly things one wants to relate this today to. Standing in a corner of one’s life, outside one’s skin, all this looks really very ugly and I think we are fortunate to have more than one perspective to look at this today with, to find a beautiful strand in it. But sometimes this ability of ours to see thing with more than one perspective gets hindered and then we do something which people call suicide.
I don’t know why but in this today, which is a mere shadow of a bygone yesterday, along with all the stillnesses and differences, there is something missing as well, something lacking. Something different that wasn’t there yesterday, or day before, or before that. I think it happened because of a lack of perspective. K, after living a long and peaceful life of 30 years, was lying dead from a stroke in his room for about five hours now.