It was my mobile alarm of 4:25 that woke me today and I opened my eyes to hit dismiss and check the time. It was 4:26 and the lock screen read,' Saturday 22 November '. I pulled the blanket back and closed my eyes, I hate this day but once you close your eyes, you always get a flashback. I got a flashback of the same day 9 years ago.

That day mummy's utensils in kitchen had waked me.there was a night lamp that was on in the bedroom of yellow color and the green color watch that showed time it was around 6:15 in morning. I had again closed my eyes because it was a cozy winter day and I thought if I keep acting asleep I would get a chance to not go to school. So I was laying on my bed with just eyes closed. Upon hearing the conversation I understood papa had done the pooja and now he was telling mummy that he have to go to morey uncle's house to collect some important papers. Mummy said there was no need to go now its too early.she was saying He can collect them when he'll drop me to school as morey uncle's house was just beside my school. I had now opened my eyes half and I was still laying, I could see the kitchen's door from my bed.mummy was inside she wasn't visible but papa was but I couldn't see his face, As I had only opened half eyes because I didn't want anyone to see I'm awake. After that papa left and mummy still didn't want him to was around 6:50 when I decided to finally get up. As I woke up I went to mummy and asked.
What are you making?
your and papa's tiffin she replied.
She told me to go and freshen up.
I asked where is papa?
Before she could answer, We both heard some voice from down of the building calling out my father's name. We used to stay on first floor so it was clearly audible.
We peeped out of window mummy asked what happened the man told can you tell us flat no. of and he took my father's name. Mummy said this is only his place, why?
She questioned.

And they answered come fast he has met with an accident. I was dumbstruck and scared. Mummy took the mobile phone and with our neighbor poojari uncle she rushed. Last thing she told me was, “please take care of ashu and ask him to have milk”. I kept looking at my brother he was sleeping and I had to break this news to him. I was constantly crying because something felt so wrong inside.

After that I kept calling mummy but she didn't pick up. That scared me more, after a while ashu woke and asked, “Didi why are you crying?”

You have milk, I answered
He forced me to tell, he again asked “why are you crying so much and where are mummy and papa”.

I had to tell him papa met with an accident and mummy has taken him to hospital. But I assured him that he'll be fine. We called up mummy again.this time she picked up and I asked, Mummy Is papa fine?
Her voice was shaking, though she said,'Yes doctors are operating he'll be fine'. She just asked me to stop crying and said nothing has happened. But still I couldn't believe her.

Till another one hour there were no phone calls.and after that some of our family friends have arrived with mummy and they started crying and all I asked was what happened??
Mummy kept quiet. One of the aunt said,'your father left us'.
Mummy just hugged me tight I was crying like hell tough unable to realize what has actually happened.

After few hours, All the relatives and friends gathered, As they brought in my dad's body my mom had fainted. That was dealing with nightmare.that morning was a nightmare. I had no clue who had ashu and how was he.did he realized what was going on. I didn't know any of it. what I saw was everyone crying near my dad, As he slept peacefully on the death bed unaware of knowing what was his family going through.

He was then taken to ghat by the male members of family and they said to bid him final goodbye. Was that possible?
Everyone was crying and I was yelling,'band karo rona papa ko nahi pasand tha...vo gussa hojayenge'
I said that and cried even harder.kept saying it and badi mummy had held me tight and told me to calm down and said nobody is crying.

It was nine years ago. I was ten and my brother was just four. Life can bring you to disastrous nightmares.2005 was the sweetest year until tragedy had hit me.there were all the good things that happened. But since then I have believed

I have come out of it. But there was always the days during festivals I wanted papa to be there. There were days I wanted him to speak..just speak slap me, scold me or love but just speak. I had wished to be there When I baked my first cake. I wanted him to be there When I had troubles.
Life never really stops, Even if you are left with nothing. Now happy and strong. I've accepted it was god's wish to take him to his garden. I'm a theist and I believe we all have to end and we are born with our destinies even if there are so many “what if's” or “might have been's”
But that never changes has the simple fact “WHAT IS, IS AND WHAT IS NOT, IS NOT”

Though the virtue of evil is, I had not been so open and close to my father as much as I now. I had shared with him everything.all my worries and joys and then have believed he'll take care and I have been lucky as a teenager or as a grown up in future I would be having the most friendly bond with my dad. And if you are missing anyone in your life who are in heaven see the stars and tell what you have in heart. Don't get disheartened that they don't reply. Smile and tell yourself heaven's got really bad network problem ;)

P. S-Papa, I miss you. Be happy and safe up there. Take care of him god you have my favorite flower in your garden:)

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