Hi I am Neha; I lately turned 18 years old. I used to be a normal girl. I had my friends circle, a good one. Priya was my best friend; I used to share everything with her. We were best friends forever. I live in a small town. People here are conventional, they believe others more than their own, mean but it is a fact. Everything was perfect ‘til seventeen. I went out with my friends, played, enjoyed and did all the things that any normal girl of my age would do. I could not have asked for more, my friends thought that I looked beautiful, I knew that Rahul had crush on me. Even I too had it on him. Everything was pitch perfect 'til this happened. It was like a bumper in the road, a pause while play, a bad weather that ruins a day.
It was during the twelfth board exams that I realised everything was not fine with me. I had chemistry paper and I could not write more than a sentence. There was this strange sensation in my right hand. It was stuck, I dripped but I managed to complete the paper, I sighed. I did not know the worst was to come.
The same night I had stark headache and I fainted. Later I remember that I was in hospital, doctor said that it was just a minor headache due to illness and exam stress. This gave me a little relief but I don’t know why time to time I was feeling uneasy as if something bad was going to happen.
Three days later when I was sitting in the near cafeteria with Riya and Raj, a sudden pain in my right hand started to occur, in no moment it started to move in its own directions, straight, round, and whatever way it could. I could not believe it. My hands were making weird gestures without my control. It seemed as if my hand belonged to some another person, or as if it had a mind of its own. It was beyond my control. My right hand picked the coffee cup and it threw right to the face of Riya, she was hurt and angry. I did not mean anything. She screamed, ‘Are you out of your mind,’ and left with Raj. I sat still, tears rolled down my cheeks, what was happening to me?

News spreads fast, but in our country it spreads like a fire. People here come not to console but to witness, my relatives were like, ‘ beta dikhao kaise hilta hai tumhara haath apne aap.’ (Show us how your hand moves by itself) I felt like shit, as if people have come to watch a show.
I felt dizziness and strangeness, my hand was directionless. My dad tried to make me feel easy by saying that everything will be alright. But somewhere deep down I knew that everything was not going to be alright.
Some people suggested him to check me whether I am possessed or not. An utter bullshit, I was possessed. They, the one who came looked at me strangely as if I was going to do something to them. I could not believe that my parents wanted me to show some baba, I was sad because they believed in utter nonsense of people. They never asked me how I was feeling, never went in to it, just decided and that’s it.
My friends group never came because their parents thought that there child would come to be affected by me. Priya never came and I don’t know why, and I have never met her since. Was my friendship meant so small to her, meaningless?
Months passed and finally my parents decided me to check with a doctor. The doctor who looked pale wasn’t surprised. He said to my parents that I was suffering from Alien Hand Syndrome, a rare neurological disorder that causes rare and unusual hand movements without an individual’s awareness. My case was a non-purposeful and to add to my woes there was no treatment for it. I guess I had to live with this life long. There is a remedy; I have to always hold one or the other thing in my right hand so that it is distracted.
I am doing it so and probably that is the only way to stop.
A year has passed, there is a little improvement. But it is of no importance, it won’t matter to anyone, because whatever it is people will still consider that I am possessed. It is funny but true. My parents are devastated for thinking about my future.
Is this thing going to stop me, no, I will rise and show the world the real power. It is not vengeance for this I can’t blame anyone for what has happened to me. It is just to forget the pain, live and love.
There is still a sensation in me; I am off my normal behaviour. I have no control over my movements; my hand will always act anonymously.
My hand has a spirit of its own and I am proud of it.
I don’t have any idea and forget the above things I wrote about rising up and bullshit. This is my last letter and the only thing I see now is a fan with a cloth hanging. I am going for it…
I am nowhere….

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