A moment of negative realisation can hold you at the time, when you are the peak opf your happiness and change the flow of thoughts towards something that can give you the worst pain you could have ever imagined. It is unavoidable at times and your mind is filled with the memories which have haunted you forever.
I lied down and stretched my blanket from toes to the head. A feeling of contagious happiness was running through my veins. Darkness covered my body, and then, a shadow appeared.
"Not today! Not now! I am supposed to be happy!"
Silent, yet lethal, the emotional parasite conquered my thoughts. A momentary heartache and then with a sweet pain, it started. Bittersweet memories begun to flash before my eyes.
It was this very bed, I was lying on, whispering into the microphone and basking in the comforts of the voice from the other side, which magically could withdraw all the pains of my life. She said it, the words I could die for. Several sleepless, yet wonderful nights started revolving around my head and for once, I felt, it would burst, giving way to the crammed up feelings.
I parked my car at the same place, to the side of the main lane, outside the school. She came out after getting a signal from me, holding her dog by a rope and my heart by a string. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. It was a smile, we both could understand and converse through. It could say things that words couldn't. She went inside and then I passed by her house. I could see her through the window, where she stood, looking and me, waving through the window, and I waved back.
I wish I could cry it all out, but I can't. It was her house and our breaths were there. Heavy, moistened, musical, elixir filled and when the lips touched, they moved to the tunes of the beats which our hearts could not suppress. Souls fell into the arms of the body, to unite, when for the first time, she embraced me. It all came back, breath by breath, beat by beat, pumping up the level of restlessness. I started sweating in the cold weather.
Unattended phone calls begun to ring in my ears. Unheard days and silent nights, filled with blade, blood and naked memories still agonised me. The loveless eyes stared at me, piercing holes into my soul. The watery eyes, sparkling against me, suddenly became blunt. The smile turned to a smirk and before turning her back and finally moving towards her newly found love, she tossed my heart to the ground and crushed it with her most lethal words. A gruesome dream had turned real.
A life was over, and yet I was not.
I woke up to the reality of pains and sufferings and instead of letting it go by dissolving myself into nothingness, I let the fire burn my heart. I burned with it like the sun to shine like the same. The purpose of my life became the life of purpose. Today, I seek happiness and I seek success. And above all, I seek a relief. Today, after centuries, I still burn in her fire, the absence of her love.
The night is still sleepless, but it is not beautiful anymore.
