It feels as if I have lived my life, I was grown up so fast then they used to say that you are mature enough for a kid of your age! I was made attractive, that's His blessings, but I was not taught how to take care of that innocence of mine! I was blessed with all kind of love except that of parents, and that love means nothing to me anymore, for I have come so far from that stage when I really needed that nurturing. I was blessed with a highly positive mind with a pure heart, both of which got rusted due to the wild air of the malice and cruelty that exist in here, everywhere! I was blesses with the ability to look into my conscience, which was snatched away by the lust of this world! "Helplessness" took control of me and I know not when! My tears become meaningless and my writings become useless!
I was blessed with a lot of stamina, which is now fading away slowly...
I am losing each and every thing that made me up! my patience, my love, my feelings, my thinking and sometimes even my mental existence. From my notes to my clothing, my every little thing seems to be scattered !! I mean it irritates me when the things are not in their proper place,,,but when I am myself are not at proper place then why these things are meaning so much to me!!! and here again, I lost my focus from the main point_ He has made me complex , and I am failed to HANDLE my own self in every attempt! I used to be a love form within,,,and now I feel so typical! I am not what I Was, and I am not I want to be! I am derailed!
But with all these things I am fine! Because I have always been returned to Him!
As quoted by Hazrat Ali (R.A) that when the problems drive you away from Allah (The Only God) then, it means they are your punishment; but if the problems bring you closer to Allah, then they are your judgement!

And when you return to him, He returns to you.

I just wanted to write it down, I like everything fixed! and these all were making my mind messy...

Tags: Self

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