I used to play house with my china dolls when I was eight
The dawn, the day, the night
All happened in a single day

I wanted to be an artist when I was ten
Colored out of the lines at times
But I was a Picasso of my own back then

I wanted to be a dancer when I as twelve
Swing on the staircase and tip toe on the wooden floor
I pretended to be a ballerina all delicate but bold

I wanted to be a doctor when I was fourteen
Help the poor with all my might
Even though the sight of blood would make me cringe

I wanted to be a pilot when I was sixteen
Fly fighter planes and serve my country
Gain a medal or two for my bravery

I wanted to fall in love when I was eighteen
Find my prince and Disney fairytale
And live my happily ever after or something like that

I’m nineteen now
I’m one of the china dolls that I used to play house with
I’m an artist but I lost all my colors
I dance in the moonlight drunk to my heart content
I’m a doctor of my own now chugging in pills to kill the voices in my head
I became a pilot and would go sky high with a few hits of heroin in my veins
I fell in love and out of it like a gambler that wore her heart on her sleeve
For all I want now is to survive
With my demons, myself and I
To go to bed without taking a pill at night.

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