Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need .

1. Kareena has dandruff problem, Katrina has dry hair problem, Shilpa has hairfall problem and Priyanka has chip-chip.

2. If you've a hot wife make sure your neighbor doesn't use a deodorant in your absence and make sure you have proper electrical connections at home.

3. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications.The worst thing to happen to a human being is to have dark complexioned skin.

4. Saif Ali Khan din bhar Appy Fizz peetha hai & Lays khata hai and still Bade Aaram Se FIT rehta hai.

5. If there is no salt in your kitchen you can use Toothpaste.

6. You can change your country by drinking Tata Tea. We can change a nation's problems by just drinking a cup of tea. Thanks to the Jaago Re.

7. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!

8. If your daughter is not Ready to Get married.., take her to a jewellery shop.

9. Only reason why men use deodorant is to get girls.You only need a deodorant with a good fragrance to approach a girl, and not the guts.

10. Most colas cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a superman, if you drink these regularly!!

11. If you have got an insurance policy, your wife and children would be happy after you die.

12. You can't eat Dairy Milk Silk without spreading it all over you face.

13. Girls feel like dancing, cycling, playing etc. only when they are on their periods. And women shed blue liquid when they have their period.

14. Your mother would really feel great if you come home after taking a mud-bath because, daag achche hain (Stains are good).

15. The only time mothers and daughters talk to each other, it's usually about either hair oil or sanitary pads.

16. Swapping your cellphones with your Mom or Wife can create a sense of mutual understanding.

17. Every other car is No. 1 according to their satisfied customers.

18. No matter what kind of expert one is, he'll always wear a white laboratory coat.

19. A girl can become the Miss World or the next Indian Idol only if she uses a particular sanitary pad or fairness cream.

20. You will have clear skin forever, only by splashing the water on your face dramatically.

21. Having Rajnigandha Pan Masala can make you buy countries.

22. Women like dots

23. You have to break 5 coconuts if your vehicle's 5years guarantee to be validated.

24. Virat kohli is poor guy, he has a Celkon mobile to impress girl, he has a bike which isn't stylish and fast.

25. Your kids will yell awesome and hig hi-five each other and not fight if you buy them the latest toy

26. You will become a hipster if you drink a Mcdonals moca crapochino, or go to starbucks, or go to panera bread.

27. Random unrelated things are connected with one another because a Fevicol logo or box is nearby.

28. Fruit content in shampoo and soap is more than fruit content in 99% of juices.

29. Most people buy vehicles to travel in bad roads but complain about roads in India

30. Nobody uses motorbikes for commuting, its only to pick up girls.

31. People believe that Bacardi makes music CD's and Directors special/Kingfisher make mineral water.

32. The special effects in shampoo ads are greater than special effects in Avatar.

33. Amul has better satirical cartoonists than people who make better milk products.

34. All superstars are so poor that they prefer to risk life for a cool drink than to purchase it for Rs:10

35. No hand wash can kill 100% germs. The best they can achieve is 99.9%

36. That the mute button is given for a reason.

37. Katrina just needs a bottle of slice to get an orgasm.

38. You don't need singing skill to be an indian idol, you just need a fairness cream.

39. That If You Don’t Use Harpic, People Will Barge Into Your House To Clean Your Toilet..!!

40. That people actually text each other while sitting on the same sofa!!!!

41. Bournvita can actually help you crack the Bournvita Quiz!

42. It is perfectly okay for a person to roam about in vests.

43. Girls prefer clean-shaved men than the bearded ones

44. 'Idea' cares more about social awareness and good moral values than their product's quality and sales

45. Your child performs better if he/she wears a clean, pressed, perfectly white shirt.The only way you can outdo your neighbor is to have a packet of Tide/Rin.

46. The best way to sell recharge plans is by showing sperm like creatures that nobody understands but everybody finds adorable "ZooZoo"

47. You just dont question about chlormints

48. If you have a Nissan Sunny then the spelling of car becomes caaaaar.

49. Ranbir clocks 147 women checking him out. His driver's count is 2375. Adjusting for a 14 hour working day, its 2375/(14*60) = 2.827 women per min or roughly one every twenty seconds.

50. Eating Lays gets a hot cheerleader to appear magically in your house. Unfortunately, Ravi Shastri, Rohit Sharma and Billy Bowden come along uninvited.

51. If my mom would have given me Complan; my height would have been double.

52. Pulsar is 'Definitely Male' - no clue on other bikes

53. Suit case and brief case that fall from a height of 100 steps will stand staight after reaching down stairs.

54. Beautiful women prefer to drink RO Purified water :)

55. SUVs are meant to be driven on rocks and over river water not on roads

56. Shah Rukh Khan is our 'National Salesman'.

57. Boost is the secret of Sachin Tendulkar's energy

58. The 'a' letter in "car" is directly proportional to its length..(its not just car its caaaaa...r).

59. Every other cement brand, news paper, energy firm is building tomorrows India. But shit ain't happening

60. A wire can save the country from fire :P

And, this:

The Epic :P

Mutualfundinvestmentsaresubjecttomarketriskspleasereadtheofferdocumentcarefullybeforeinvesting. (for those who understand what it mean :P)

"....Anyways what are you trying to suggest? That if I put on a deo that smells like chocolate, girls would come and take a bite of me? Or that if I use a particular phone, or wear a particular brand of underwear or chew a particular gum, ride a specific bike wearing some sunglasses and check time from a given watch to see if I have to ride faster - all to impress some random ‘chick’?..."

:P indeed a long list ...i am tires now ..if u can add something u r most welcome

So first addition by MUKHTAAR ASHRAF

61. Brushing your teeth with Colgate can light a room in case of a power cut.

62. Every supermarket has the lowest price items in the country.

63. Garnier makes women hair Straight and shiny.

64. Lucozad can make you do push-ups without using your hands.

65. Doom makes a mosquito's eyes pop out of its sockets.

66. Farmland is the best choice a person can make in his life.

67. Everything that is cheap, is either broken or faulty.

68. Laptops, Computers and Mobile phones are better to use to read a book than to read an actual book. They make students pass with high distinction.

69. Buying tiles at Acha Ceramica makes your house better than everyone else's.

70. We have to use UBP blocks and Baobab to build houses and buildings to save the country's future.

71. If you dont eat ChanterClaire chicken, U have no happy family.

72. Eating cornflakes or Weetabix makes you stronger than Ronnie Coleman or Jay Cutler..

73. Colgate toothpaste can make you survive an Snow storm.

74. Drinking Twin Cow milk makes you the best architect in the country.

75. U don't have a happy day if you don't eat weetabix mixed with an apple and drink Everyday milk.


Rest of you if you can add few more you are welcome

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