My heart sank as I saw her with her best-friend, BFF, as they say- hugging each other, sharing all kinds of disastrous experiences, secrets forever to be kept that way, each time seeing both of them together- Rachel and Mansi. It was kind of suffocating. Perhaps, anyone who would see both of them together would definitely suffocate- their raunchy poses together, posing as if they are just going to defecate.. well that was why their poses would have been suffocating to anybody. But for me, it was a totally different reason- Imagine the one you love sway so far away from you, without waving you goodbye, promising to come back soon, yet you know that it's forever- this goodbye, no matter said or unsaid, it had happened, the final goodbye, between two so best of friends, Sophia and Rachel, who had promised to be best friends forever, who had once shared all their dirty jokes with each other, loved each toher, perhaps more together than ever, that even at times both their boyfriends would get so frustrated, and take us for being lesbians.
And we had a hard time proving we were not.
And if that wasn't enough, we were always singing romantic songs each toher, discussing how puberty changes all of us, makes us look more funnier, it was all so sudden.
I remembered how she had come to win over my heart when I was a newcomer at Oxford.
"Will you be my friend?? ..err.. best fr..frr..friend??"
"That was a bet between me and Lopez to choose who would be your friend first, and definitely I won, thank God, or a person so shy and coy like me would have never ever got a best friend so sweet and idiot like you!" She would say poking fingers at my nose. Well, that irritated me of course, but I didn't mind when it was She!
I loved to see her that way, loved remembering all those moments I spent with her- and most of the time those wherein she would be jealous of my partner Alycia, everytime shouting at me for sitting with her, talking to her with a huge smile!
"It's so flattering, Soaphia, the smile you wear! And still you smile, Alycia is your present bestie, and you will soon forget me!"
I LOVED THE JEALOUSY BUILDING UP IN HER.
Seriously! I just loved it all!
But then entered the Indian girl Mansi, with whom seats were exchanged, and she made her go to the track wherein perhaps, never did I even think of- MY RACHEL WAS CHANGED.
For a lifetime, and that killed me. Being her best-friend, or as so I thought, but never realised all that had so soon changed, her interests, preferences, even her best friend. I was now her ex.
But whatever, I still loved her, and considered it my duty to ask about how she was, to bring her back to good old tracks, but what I received was faces of disgust, blackmails, from Mansi to stay out of her life, and what I heard was more horrendous.
"I made out with so many men doesn't mean I am spoilt, old granny. Stop speaking out like that! That proves how I like to play, enjoy my teenage, unlike you, who decides to get committed forever and sit together in a beach bench, planning future together, getting old together!" Rachel said those words. My Rachel. It was all so sudden, and painful, I had never realised life would turn out to be so mean to me.
All of a sudden, I loved her more, pitied her, hated her, never wanted to be any longer with her!
I surrendered, surrendered talking to her, trying to be close to her, making her realise that she had a support even when Mansi wouldn't be there, because I was quite sure, Mansi was wicked, she was mean. She loved herself, hated Rachel, used her for her own fun, to find someone to spend time with.
She had been a loner, but I now didn't care.
If someone didn't realise, there was no business of mine to make her care forcefully.
She had tried to be photographed with me on the Farewell, I didconsent, but I had already decided, I would never be together with her again. No contacts, never, she was lost in a storm that had suddenly entered in my life, and swayed away her from me, forever, shattering her to pieces, the effects perhaps could no longer be reciprocated.
I smiled, with tears in my eyes, not sure whether it was of pain for losing a friend-forever, or of happiness that she was no longer with me, and I was free to laugh, to love him, to smile thinking of him, to study!
