Wrote half of both the stories, but pressed Ctrl+A and pushed down the Del button on my keyboard!
I have something in me, I want to write, But the thing is that I am unable to figure it out_the part in me that is silently aching without letting me know. And when it happens,I behave awkwardly, I wake up, see the time and then sleep again cz I think I wont feel good if I continue to keep awake with the confused mind. I don't even know what I am confused about. I am bewildered about bewilderment
Am I nervous? No,obviously not, I am not eating a lot. Am I sad? No, my eyes are not in pain. Am I extremely happy? I don't know, may b. But for what? Am I in regret? I am not! Am I hurt? No way, not yet! Am I in rage? Oh yes! Probably!!!
But, If I am in rage why I am awake? If I am in rage why I am listening songs? If I am in rage, why I am not refusing to the different tastes?
Sometimes I just have "don't know" in the answers!! It is real and again I don't know! May b this is one of those times when I just don't know!! I don't even know what is irritating me. But whatever it is, it is killing me inside. And It is when I don't know whether it will be fine with just weeping it all, writing it all or discussing it all.
The problem is sometimes that I don't even share the things which one would have done if he/she were at my place! It is not cz I don't have someone to trust for that! I just don't share! I feel weak and pitiable by doing that. After all, nobody likes the negatives, everyone adores the colorful pictures!!
So, all I want to say is if you feel like this, for heaven's sake, speak it out! throw it away! Don't test your stamina that much that one day you feel really sick!! Discuss the things! Surely, there is always the one with you who cares about you! who understands you! who may not know the right or wrong, but that person can surely make you feel good! It is not always about the right or wrong. Sometime it has to be about being fine! cz the rights and wrongs have no meanings if you are just not fine enough differentiate! Don't be brutal to yourself... It won't lessen your ego, or it won't make you weak. It will just make you feel light! which is necessary! If you could live alone, there was no purpose of sending you on this crowded planet!
You may not be the reason of your own happiness, but you surely are the reason of your Peace and tranquility! and it is what matters the most!! Inner Satisfaction!
A farmer may be devoid of happiness of new clothes at every feast, but he surely is satisfied with the two times meal he earns!!