Fortunately or unfortunately my pregnancy tenure began just before a month of KKK's pregnancy, obviously indian media was gungho about her's as nine plus postpartum months till date were reported into hours and minutes. Poor me had only nine months and eighty four days of maternity leave to be precise.
These stark differences between her's and mine have continuously shadowed this whole period in some or the other way. Starting from people to virtual world (internet) I was followed by her everywhere; unintentionally though :-P
Every time looser me was dealing with her news reading or listening and sympathising on other girls like me pregnant at this time. In order to cope up with this fact I started reasoning about these discussions, articles or advices in my mind, so that I can remain happy and peaceful in my own place. Tried to pen down some here.
Place - Office , Colleague- Have you seen KKK's dresses, she looks amazing in them why do you still wear old tops..buy some new...flaunt your baby bump. Me in 4th month (in my mind) - everybody has to flaunt the bump as you cant hide it, I wear old tops because I have always worn loose tops and I still fit in them and look good, moreover I can afford to look bad some day but she can't..so chill Priyanka and enjoy the day.
Place- My Colony, My neighbour- Do you have twins ?? as you look very fat ? - Me in my 6th month - Even KKK is looking fat :-P so what is the big deal. My neighbour - But she looks so good even then. Me (in my mind) - get lost
Over a Phonecall , My relative - Are you on leave, Me - Yes, Relative - Why so early..now a days girls work till the delivery date..bla bla bla..(after some eg.s )look at KKK she is walking on the ramp for fashion shows. Me- Auntie I can also work even while I deliver but sadly my company has shut down. Relative (after a long pause, as if she understood my plight) - ok…cant you join another., Me in 6th month (in my mind) - f**** off
Over a Phonecall, My Cousin( excited) - have you bought all the baby essentials and furniture. Me- No, I am still reading about what all to take, Cousin - You are so late, even KKK has started shopping.
Even social media & search engines were after me! As I was searching more on pregnancy, new born and related stuff, her sponsored feeds were hovering around my readings and I could not gather enough courage to not click them :-D. Her shadow continued even post delivery of my beautiful child Sach (offcourse comparison started when her child was born after a month)
Place - My home, My good friend - (while looking at picture of my baby and me when we first time entered our home from hospital) - you should have carried some nice dress to hospital…and why you still look pregnant even after delivery?, Me - yeah ..it takes around forty days approx for uterus to shrink, Friend - hmmm..have you seen KKK’s picture in that sweatshirt with the baby, Me- (with no intention to waste energy) - NO
Place- My Inlaws Home, My mother in law (even after a month of delivery)- have some good amount of ghee in your parathas it would be good for you. Me- mummy doctor has asked me not to have any more ghee and all , Mother in Law - you do not listen and dint had ghee even in the last month of your delivery and that is why you suffered so much , even KKK had ghee and parathas at that time. Me (in my head) - why do these celebrities speak their mind, it becomes such an ardent task to defend our own reasoning because of them.
Place- At a marriage, My Mom’s Friend - You have become very very fat, do something, Me (after two months of delivery) - I have started doing walk, weight loss will be gradual as it took me 9 months to put on this weight. My Moms friend - look at KKK, she has already joined Yoga and looks so fit. Me (in my mind) - I also read that and I also know she has a film scheduled next, may be that’s why, moreover she must have hired a team by now to help her get back in shape again.
Either we all have become insensitive, insane or we have lost a common content to talk, my acquaintance’s have even compared her sons’s hair to mine as why my baby has less hair and asked me if I happend to look at her baby’s picture which is on internet as how his head is full of brown hair making him more adorable.
My relatives are complaining as why I still dont visit them with the baby (off course KKK’s party pictures are on net) and I wonder if I am a poor manager of tasks or a lazy mum that my 24*7 goes only into numerous feedings and diaper changes as my day gets over.
I have read about corporate super woman (Yahoo’s CEO) who has joined her office within two weeks of giving birth to a baby boy. I am personally proud of her but worried about all other women who do not have such resources to get back to work so quickly. We live in a society of constant comparisons where you are judged on multiple parameters and facts like these probably add misery to the lives of women who cant afford this level of committment to work because of various dynamic variables.
At last I wonder; what is wrong with me as I am failing socially currently or is it really the other way round, penning down these sentiments while me and my newborn baby is dealing with each other seems great right now. Living in the moment seems to be the key. :-)
- from a New Born Mother
P.S. - This article is based on personal opinion and observation and is not meant to hurt anybody’s sentiments or image.