I know the secret, I figured it out sophomore year of high school. Its sad how this story starts though because this boy influenced my change (and I influence boy). He made me want to be better and not the slave I was to gain his ever ambering attention I lusted. What can I say I was 16 and wanted to feel real deep love. He wanted to feel numbness due to depression, he couldn't even love himself. I can't change my first love, he was a distant fuck, a fuck I cared deeply for. He taught me to nurture those how appreciate it.I still dream about him even though he looks like an Indian now. What was I talking about? Oh yeah happiness. Its not a secret formal or food or men... it's you. Yes you reading. Now feel with me.. Just forget what others want, what do you want? Ponder on that.. till next time.
