A letter from a 21 year old to her Ex..

Dear X,
You are definitely surprised to see me in your mailbox today. For I barged into your uncluttered life to 'mess' you up again.
I got your ID from a long lost friend of mine, whom I met recently at a party. You don't have an inkling how I searched for you all over the place. Not to start it all over again. But to give you a piece of my mind.

Wait..don't delete this message! You need to HEAR this.
My side of the story. You called me a slut, a piece of shit..whatever crossed your mind that evening, when I desperately sought to talk to you. You logged off without even a bye. How indecent of you! If only I had a faintest idea of how you'd turn out to be, I'd have kept miles away from you.

You said I started this. Well, listen, weren't you the one who approached me that night at the party? Didn't you put on your best appearance then? Impeccable manners and all? Just to floor me? Later, in the evening you seduced this vulnerable me with that breathtaking 32-bit smile. Your stubbled chin said it all. You never left my side. We danced all evening in each other's arms.

You hypnotized me. You dropped me home. You had me floored! We continued to meet, on chat, by mail and FB of course.
I looked forward to your messages every day, first thing in the morning, last thing at night. The chats now on well into the night. You now grew bolder. 'Sweetheart' came easy to you. To me too. Then the other words..some beginning with 'F'..well..I wasn't too comfortable then, but my intense love for you simply made me overlook those early signs.

You were now desperate. And I couldn't separate..from you my love.
I had fallen head over heels in love with you. I couldn't think of one moment away from you. Your idiosyncrasies surfaced. Your penchant for 'other' gals was all too obvious by now. The incessant downing of alcohol was taking it's toll too. You the partying type and I somehow went along just to please you. I wore those tights just to have you keep your eyes on me.

Then one night, you lost control. My strap came loose, my morals too. You went tight, and your head completely light.
Passions aroused, you were now into me completely. And I just didn't resist. I knew it was wrong deep down, but my love for you made me blind. You had me in your control.

I watched your face..the wild look, the violent hug. Gentleness vanished as if on cue. A beast now took over. A wave of fear gripped for the first time. You had become a different person altogether. I screamed to let me go. You wouldn't. I struggled to be free. Finally you stopped. You finally had your long desired dominion over me. One more added to your numerous 'conquests'. You had had your fill. Like a thirsty car finally loaded with petrol.

You walked away leaving me alone in the dark night. I called out to you. You just ignored me. Somehow I gathered remnants of my clothing, my wits and my shame and ran..hoping no body would see.
I spent the night agonizing, sobbing into my pillow. How could you do this? You had broken my trust. It was awful. I was a house looted, a tree uprooted. Badly disfigured. Tough to be configured.

I tried to text you the next day. You completely blanked me out..out of your mail, your mobile and finally your life. Yeah, except for one message, a curt one at that.."Let go of me, you slut@#@#.."
I was heartbroken..still couldn't forget you. I kept trying and trying somehow to contact you. To ask you why you did this to me. To ask you the reason for your sudden transformation?
You had absconded totally into oblivion.

It took me months to get over this. I looked like a ghost of my former self. I became a target of mockery among friends and relatives. I wanted to die. The guilt of that night floods me every now and then. It seems I lost a huge, precious part of me that night. I'm not the same again. I hate myself..for getting into this..for loving you..like mad.

Someone suggested I find someone else. How can I? How would I be able to trust him again? I decided enough's enough. No more such ventures for me. Men are like wild beasts, uncontrollable savage hounds. I've somehow regained my composure somewhat.
You wonder why I addressed you as 'X'. Well, you are crossed out of my life, a complete nonentity now.

I learned my lesson...
An unforgettable one.

With compliments,
Your shattered friend

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