How could I be so lost,
In a place I know so well?
How could I be so broken,
In a family so together?
How could I be so lonely,
Surrounded by so many?
How could I be so unhappy,
Surrounded by so much beauty?
How could I be me,
When even I remain a mystery?
In desperation I search, trying to find myself I look.
I search and search, for my heart is lost I search.
Too scared to run too scared to move.
Paralyzed by pain and fear I search.
I fight to live as I stager at the pain.
I sit beside me staring at what I see. 
I shake my head at what I made me.
I fight to not listen at the pain I created.
The pain I will always see.
As I twitch in emptiness my eyes begin to see.
death is just an anesthetic
for what's to come
a body left behind with no face
feeling numb
all alone I cry here
fading into nothing
all alone I lie here
...losing myself...
My world is so empty
All what's left is pain
No sunshine to light my way
Just never ending rain
The rain which I loved is no more a fantasy....
The life once I loved has become just a way to spend my day until my body takes its last breath...
The soul is lost which is true...
No more dreams and wishes to find the lost one...
Losing myself
At the end ....

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