The first time they told me not to do drugs
I was 15 and my parents made a big deal
About how addiction was bad
About how it ruined lives
The irony of it all was
My father smoked a lot
Addicted to his Bensons and pot
My mother took her pills
Addicted to valiums and whatnot
Addiction was bad they said
Good girls! Don’t do drugs
Promise us child?
You won’t ever touch wine.
You won’t ever touch a pill
Or consume anything that kills
I agreed because I had to
What more can a cornered person do?
Four years down the road
Now, that I know
Why addiction was bad
That the illusions do not last
Love, life, lust, faith, dreams, future
All crashes down like a house of cards
And you are alone to face reality
Addiction does not ruin you.
It certainly does not
What ruins you is the void in your heart
That you fill with rum every night
That empty space on the bed
Where you crave the presence of them at times
It does not always have to be alcohol and powder filled packs
Or magic mushrooms or even hash
It is that lingering space in your entity
That has been broken and dejected by the world
It is that question mark left on your heart
And the thud of your heartbeat in the silence of the dark.