BASED ON A TRUE INCIDENT
At dusk on Tenth Picadally, the sidewalks of lower Park Street, in the party capital of Kolkata, were thronged with creatures of every ilk—dewy working girls and snugly tailored metro boys, Euro-tourists; a burly man in a white apron splattered with blood; a fashionista pushing a rack of clothes; a bodybuilder leashed to a pug. Cars were honking, buses whooshing past and the sun setting casting an energetic glow.
I was sitting by a window in one of my favorite restaurants, facing northward, against the tide of the passing show. The overhead lights were bright; a jazzy soundtrack was engulfing through the inner atmosphere, which smelt deliciously of baking bread. The whole dining hall was gleaming yellow coz of the chandelier. Then, she came wearing a dress that was as white as the winter snow. She looked like poetry on two feet. She came to me and said “Sir! You are on a wrong table. The waiter did a mistake.” What? She is not Ria. Shit…I feel like an Idiot.
“Your table is there and your date is waiting” She said with a smile.
Ok. Calm down…Calm down…This is only a date…A blind date. I smiled and followed the sultry manager. And then I saw her. She was beautiful. Though, I have seen her picture on facebook but she looked amazing in real with her radiant smile.
I introduced “hi…I am Dip…You must be Ria……”
Ria replied with a smile “yes…yes…”
I am sweating. She is beautiful. Maybe it is not a foolish idea…Ok, give her a compliment
And I said “Aaaa….I am sorry.. They did some mistake with the tables….”
Oh God.. I cant even praise her
She smiled and said “Don’t worry…And are you nervous?”
“ First time??”
I answered awkwardly “No… No…No….I have been nervous before….”
She chuckled and said “ You are funny…”
Why is she laughing? I am really nervous…Maybe she is a bimbo.. But Ankush said she is smart….I knew it. It is a foolish idea…
I had no idea what to do at that time and I said “I am??....So what do you want to eat?”
Ria took the menu and started looking at the leaflet “Wow..For a moment I thought, that girl in pink dress is Kareena Kapoor… “
Wait!! Is this a test?? Should I look? Or not??
I looked at the girl hesitantly and answered with an impulse “ Really…I don’t think so….Do you like Kareena Kapoor??”
“ yeah… I adore her…I almost wore one of her dress from one of her movies…What about you??”
I spoke the first thing that came to my mind “No…..i would have looked horrible in her dress…”
What is wrong with me??
“ You are really hysterical…”
What is wrong with you woman??
We ordered some food and started to eat. Somehow she was enjoying my company and I her. It was Ankush’s uncle’s restaurant and I knew the band that was playing. That night was local talents’ night. So I decided to dedicate a song to her and showcase my singing talent. My plan was going great, I was about to take the mike after two performances and then something bad happened, bad for me, of course. Our neighborhood pharmacist went up to the stage and started singing. It turned it out, he was a Rockstar, and his voice was the drug that he should be dispensing, because apparently, it was the cure for everything. Even I started to fall in love listening to that voice.
Then came my turn, I walked up to the stage looking all nervous, people were staring at me but all cared about singing the song. Don’t get nervous. Think what will happen after the performance? She might kiss you in happiness and surprise.
I took the mike and said “That was our local pharmacist….Mithun Sen… Please give a huge round of applause…”
Is this a dream?? This is sheer folly. I have learned one thing from this blind date: Never go on a blind date
I was ashamed and Ria was smiling at me. Even she thinks I am a joke
It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. NO, wait, it was the second most embarrassing moment of my life. The first one was about to happen.
“Here is your bill” Waiter said.
I reached for my pocket to take out the wallet. But it was not there. I checked and checked and checked again.Oh shit! I forgot my wallet. It is a nightmare. She still has not noticed. Maybe I should run for my life. After this horrible date, I dont think she even wants to talk to me.
Ria said “Are you okay?”
“I guess I forgot my wallet….can you pay the bill? ”
“This is not a surprise to me. I have seen worse dates. At least, you tried to make this date fun.”
She is nice. At least, she did not slap me or left the place. I totally blew this one.
“You know, at least… I don’t know… one of your ex- girlfriends did not show up. In one of my dates a month ago, some crazy ex- girlfriend of the man destroyed the evening. ” She pointed out making me embarrassment more painful.
“Dip… Dip, is that you??” a known voice called for me.
You got to be kidding me. Nina, my crazy ex-girlfriend. And that was the most embarrassing moment of my life.
Needless to say, i never got to meet Ria again.............