never really a fit in.....

Ok lets begin with the back story of my mundane boring life...where there are hardly any UPS but is mostly filled with DOWNS...where my day begins from getting up from my bed and ends with me on it again....
Lately my vacations were going on so there were changes in my life...but when you talk about the academics..it is the same old me....
wearing a specs and running a time-table in my head all day along like 'what to study? what not? when? and how?'
The only reputation I earned for myself among friends was 'studious. padaku. boring. kitabi keeda' and nothing else and among teachers 'the girl who would do your any work at all costs'....
Yeah I hoped that was a good reputation but when the time came for giving credit I was like standing the last in the queue....Sometimes it bothered me but what I could have done?? because I am the kind of person who'll always sit in the corner and do their work but still not blind to the very world around them......
I never participated in dance, singing or plays, it was too dramatic for me but when came the hosting part I was always called in.....being subtle and quiet did not work much in my favor, always people tried to steal the opportunities that landed my plate but eventually they again landed my plate..
People had always been judgmental about me..like I was the fairest in my class...it did not make much difference to me...I think because I was used to it but see the girls and the people flocking around me and eyeing me...and the first thing every person told me was," Gosh, your skin!!!" and I smiled weakly because I didn't like the unwanted attention.....
People thought because of my fair skin, good merit, reserved nature....I am haughty,serious and in short a 'AKKADU' and that is the foremost reason no one befriended me..
Secondly I never quite blended in...like all the people around used the slang language to address each other...and that was strictly against my ethics to call someone randomly,' Kutti!'' How inappropriate it is!!...but no one used them with me until one day someone did and after that no other person dared to speak that way in front of me....
And thirdly 'the crush' thing...which I never really understood...I only liked Ranbir Kapoors and Henry Cavills but no one for real....but every girl had a score card with at least ten boyfriends and crushes...I used to smile and shake my head in a 'no' when they asked me," Do you have a boyfriend?".....and I thought who would be my boyfriend..???...He'll surely be bored to death!!!
An half the time they used to talk about these things and I never really was a fit in for these stuff...and whenever I approached them they would stop talking and walk away....
When I wrote my first poem NAHI BHULUNGA...from a boy's point of view...all tore their eyes from the poem and stared at me for half a minute and said," You surely had a break-up" and I denied saying," Read it... its from a boy's point of view not a girl's"...they never appreciated or criticized the way of my writing but only made fun of my poem or teased me....
So I was never a perfectly cut out piece that would fit in the world around me.....always I was the invisible girl...the one who was never remembered and if she was ...only because she was a monitor or a topper but never as a friend or a as a companion.....
Now I am here at writerbabu...and I look at some writers who easily fit in with their posts or with their comments....but are never really forgotten...I hope one day I become one of them...and be a piece who would fit perfectly......in the world