Every time I was down you picked me up. lifted my spirits made me a fighter. People marveled at the independence of my soul. All the things I achieved I always had faith it is all because of you.

Today when I stand at the edge of a deep deep abyss about to fall it is also because of you..... Seeing your strength not only in mind but bodily leaving you sucks the life out of me. I want to beg you to fight! Fight it out with your illness BUT then I can't.

I see a fighter who fought all her battles with such ferocity that all adversaries were met with defeat. Be it loosing your unborn sons be it the cruelty of ones around you, be it the resistance from your kids to accept good and all others were dealt with!

I saw all of that Ma I saw you crying at night and pretending all is good in the morning. I saw how u made sure your kids were educated and taken care of when your pockets were empty. You are not only a survivor you are my inspiration! You are all I have in form of love support system ideal and a soul mate. Today when I see you loosing to your illnesses small small things taking toll on your nerves I'm breaking!

Ma please don't! Fight it fight it once more I know you can do it! I have searched and searched within me, tried finding ways of cheering you up! I see myself failing. With each of your cries a part of my soul empties my life is sucked out! I CANNOT imagine a life without you don't want to either

It makes me wonder when you were teaching me things when you were telling me to be strong you never told me there will be a time when I will be asked to live without my soul without any strength. Ma how.... How do I fight this out!

All I can say is... Don't EVER! leave me please.........

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