I had mentally run away these last few years.....i did not attend classes....spent all my time getting high and just not concentrating on the rat race.....one of the best things i ever did to myself...i would not recommend it to anyone though...there are severe repercussions to it....but now i have this feeling of clarity about purpose that i never had before.....
the thing that always pinches me is how conformist our society is....everyone..them, you, me......we all see ourselves as different....as rebel champions....and yet everyone needs the same things......
A guy almost all the time wants his girl to be hot.....a girl always has this subconscious need of having a man who is dominating....parents love their children but the most immediately important thing to them is how successfull a career path their progeny are on....friends are friends...only as long as they feel you are equal....the list goes on and on....
the rat race thing this world has fallen into depresses me everyday....and yes i feel like physically distancing myself from all this every single moment...mentally that i already have a bit.....
people in their primitive stupid ignorance disgust me....
but then i have a problem....i cant really point fingers at anyone without realising that four are pointing back at me.....i realise instantaneously everytime that i am as stupidly ignorant as anyone.....does that mean i am a bad person? does that mean that stupidity is inherent to me? does that instead not actually point to something so deep rooted in my subconscious that it is almost like i have been programmed by the society i live in?
Then it hits me like a slap to the face everytime...people are not to be blamed for how they think.....they have been conditioned into zombies with particular trains of thought....and is blaming them really the best that i can do?
This world is sick....and it needs a cure......and someone has to find it......it is a monumental task and no one man will make a huge difference....but someone has to take the baby steps.....there is nothing herioc about it....it is just something we owe to society....
Sometimes when i am feeling low....i youtube "random acts of kindness".....and they always remind me of how beautiful people are....even if all the people in this world are selfish...inside all of them is a goodness....all of them sometimes or the other have helped someone....and helping anyone without self interest is the manifestation of the divine....
And there is this quote from the dark knight rises i really can not escape from :
"Selina Kyle: Come with me. Save yourself. You don't owe these people any more. You've given them everything.
Bruce: Not everything. Not yet."
//this was a mail i wrote to someone....and then thought i should share :)
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'When I was young, I wanted to change the world. When I grew a little old I realized it was too difficult so I tried to change my Nation. But then I realized it was not possible either. So, I decided to change my state, I failed again. Next I decided to change my society and the results were same. Now I realize only if I had changed myself I could have changed my family. My family could have changed the society. Th society could have changed the state. The state could have changed the nation and in turn the nation could have changed the world!'
:)