‘Wherever we are it is our friends that make our world’, goes the quote by Henry Drummond. Friends, ah! The word itself evokes a diverse array of emotions in us. Friendships are an inextricable part of a person’s life. From the moment you were a clueless toddler at school and your only saviour was that partner helping you out during that dreaded math class, to the confused young adult who understood you like no one else (or at least you believed so) to everything in between and beyond; friendships are ubiquitous throughout a person’s life. And maybe because unlike family we partially can control, who we choose to or not choose to befriend and the bond we share with them is unique and special. Popular culture has of-times romanticized the notion of friendships and friends as a heavenly crutch for mankind ; from famous stories to poems to intense and profound quotes captioned under that photo of yours with your ‘BFF’ on Instagram with everyone harmonizing with a typical “#friendship goals”.
But seriously do friendships work with the same intensity as the emotions that such gestures give out. Aren’t these emotions for the most part, momentary and not really based off mutual love and respect as one would expect. If yes, how does one really understand this mathematics of friendships and friends? Well there certainly is no formula to fathom the strength of a friendship but all I can say that is that, a lot of times the expectations are too high and dizzying and the reality, well, is not quite colourful!. Not to sound bitter and cynical but friendships and the baggage they carry is at times overrated. Process this! Relationships, friendships, attachments are all seasonal! Well, yes that’s a fact. You reach out for someone you gravitate towards, become friends, spend some time here and there, share memories and briefly feel that you’d like to keep that bond for an eternity; but that just doesn’t happy. It’s hard to let go, especially when one expects greatly from their friendship, but it falls apart, sometimes abruptly, sometimes gradually; sometimes intentionally and sometimes intentionally. But maybe, sometimes that extinction is inevitable and the quicker we move away from the denial, the better it is because to carry a dead friendship is awkward and exhausting. All relationships, are not meant to stay, and that’s okay.
So maybe some of us should, re-evaluate the expectations we have from a friendship and not leave it immersed in the unrealistic hopes of certainty and eternity. They’ll be good friends, they’ll be bad ones, and guess what you’ll make your way through all of them and be wiser, as you reflect back on each one of them. Not all ships,’ no matter how strong they may seem at once, are meant to reach the shore. So smile and enjoy while they last and stay unbroken after they are over. Like gold dust a ‘real friend’ is rare and precious who stands by you through everything your life has to offer and makes an effort to stay even when it is not the most convenient possibility. But then, for the most of us they’ll always be the elusive ones, an ideal too far-fetched to be a reality.