You dumped me today, you stupid little bitch,
And smiled while doing it, like a hairy old witch;
You ripped my heart out, and served it with stew,
So I decided to write a poem, and dedicate it to you!!
I was a normal guy once, doing my regular thing,
Not interested in girls, drugs, booze or bling..
And then you came along, as a pretty as a peach,
You had me from the start, like Martin Lutherâ€™s Speech...
Soon I was thinking of you, all day and night
I made stories of us, like a young maiden and a knight;
One day I decided to finally test my ball (s);
I wound up my courage and asked you to the mall!!!
You looked startled at first, and then you looked away,
But you had rocked my boat, my heart began to sway;
After a million times, I was losing all hope,
And then you said â€œYESâ€ Thank you Jesus and Pope!!
I took you to the movies, to the parlour to the park,
I took you to the beach where someday our kids would walk;
I let you sit in the city bus, while I was hanging from the door,
I gave you all I had, but you kept asking for more...
And then came Valentines Day, I had run out cash,
So I even stole balloons for you, from my Brothers Birthday Bash!!
But that was not enough , you wanted a cuddly teddy bear,
I wanted to strangle you then, on my mother I swear!!
But I sailed through it all, smiling through gritted teeth,
After all i had a GF, was supposed to be happy feet..
But then you drove it, through my heart a spike,
You had feelings for that hunk guy, the one with the Bike!!
He had a gym body, and a style that was crass,
And most of the time I couldnâ€™t tell his head from his ass,
But you liked him anyways, you thought he was cute,
I wanted to smash your face in, with a kick from Army Boot!!
So here it goes, you man- hunting Medussa,
I like you as much as a sad stale Samosa...
I never loved you anyways, you foul mouthed whore,
But now I hate you, to my very CORE!!!
Girls please excuse The Break Up poem- girls version is in progress