For the past ten minutes I was sobbing and the man sitting across kept passing me tissues without a word. He kept a neutral face. His black rimmed spectacles were very large but it looked quite well on him. He was dressed very pleasantly whereas I was a living mess in front of him. I wiped my tears for the umpteenth time while the waiter placed a glass of water on our table. I muttered a small thank you and faced the man sitting across me, my counselor, Dr. Dustin.
"So, tell me how you have became this mess again, Miss Cruz?" He said in his neutral raspy and deep voice. I tucked a strand of my blond hair behind my ear and replied," Where should I begin from?"
He replied," From where you ended the last time."
I managed a small smile and said," My life is jeopardizing in front of my eyes and it seems that I can't do anything to stop it. Help me, please. This break up is taking a toll on me."
He sighed and said," Miss Cruz, it has been five years since this break up and he is getting married. If he can move on why can't you?"
I struggled to answer," Because I-- I-- he---"
"Because he is not letting you move on." He answered for me.
I looked at him for minute to understand what he was implying. I sniffed at my tissue and averted my gaze to the the table which held my rested hands. He continued,"...and not because you still love him."
"How are you so sure? This can be the case of unrequited love?....Oh well it is." I replied whining with tears welling my eyes.
" Yes it is and you must free yourself from it," he leaned in and replied," Miss Cruz, I see a wonderful and a beautiful woman behind this mess he has made you in. And I do not wish to see the light I see in you now fade away because of some man who didn't deserve you."
I blinked at his words. He had counseled me for nearly a year now and this has been the sweetest thing he ever said to me. He was always this neutral rude doctor.
"But why it is so hard to let him go, if he is not the one I love?"
"It is not. It is just your fear which makes it hard. Let him go once and give yourself some peace. Your life and infact all our lives are not some Mills and Boons paperback or some Hollywood hopeless romantic films. Disappointments are meant to be there in our lives, we need to decide if we want to live with them...or outgrow them"
I didn't reply to him. This was not his usual counselor behavior, this was more of his friendly demeanor.
He finally said," For a year I have seen you wasting your potential. He is not going to come back and even if he does you need to slam the door shut on his face," a tear slipped from my eyes,"he chose someone else over you and you must accept it."
I nodded and replied firmly," I will, I will. I promise"
He narrowed his eyes and said," You have been saying this to me for six months. and look where you have reached. Every time you promise this to me, he comes back to you and breaks your promise. And when he leaves again you are the same heartbroken girl again."
I looked down guiltily and whispered a sorry.
"It is like you are playing the second woman's role in your film of life. You are supposed to be the leading lady and not some woman crying her heart out for a man who doesn't even love her. Get up and shake yourself and get a hold of your life,girl." I smiled at him and for the first time a deep realization crawled deep in my heart,
He continued," Maybe the prince didn't treat you like a princess. But maybe the pauper might just give you your worth and be your prince."
He winked......and I grinned genuinely for the first time in three years.