I am near my window with the laptop on my lap and wondering what to write. It is raining outside and it is cool and soothing outside. But my mind is a turmoil....a complete mess..like every writer's.
Wondering from where to begin, I think about the superficiality that has invaded our lives. Of all the times, I think now and today we are the most superficial. In every move, be it small or large...there is some sense of being artificial and not being true, not only to others but also to oneself. It led me to believe that it is somehow the cause of our unhappiness.
A few months ago, a new dress or a good news or even someone's arrival would make me happy and excited but now it doesn't. Is it because we are too consumed with ourselves and our life, we do not have a minute to look out for others? Sometimes I find myself so involved with my work that I don't realize I didn't even talk to my father for a proper minute. And I am only in college. Are we that busy?
I don't think so. I think it is all about sorting out your priorities. But with the world being unknown, all we know is that we are someone's priority only because we may somehow be useful and beneficial to them. Even relationships are turning shallow. Friends are chosen on the basis on status, people are entering into relationships for mutual benefits. In short nobody likes you for being "You", everyone wants some or the other thing out of you.
And because of stuff like these, I have trust issues. Don't tell me I am wrong, all this is experienced first hand. Of course, they're exceptions. But not many.
I just wonder that when I get old, what will be more important to me - how many people I ditched and used to get to the top? or How many relationships I kept and maintained?
I often feel empty, lonely and cold; not because I don't have many people around me. I think it is because I am not able to devote the much needed time and effort in maintaining a good relationship with them.
My mother often says,"You can easily make a relation with a person but how you maintain it counts the most." And let me tell you, it is not easy. With the trust gone in most relationships today, they are not easy to maintain. And they say you need only love....
With everything thrust upon you at a time, it gets difficult to handle - be it education, career, family. I am growing up, I am learning it, and I know I will get around. I just don't want it to be too late till I get around. I have lost many people...seen them drift away. Many true colors have been seen, many times I've been hurt. But nothing can make you believe that you are better off alone...because you need them, you need the ones you love in your life. Always. No matter what. You learn to forgive them.
And I think that's all we truly are for. To love and cherish and celebrate and hope that we all make it up there. That's we are living for. But, in this competition of getting ahead and getting better, somehow we are losing not only them but ourselves too.......